Posts Tagged ‘Mystery’

Prologue

This next series of Turfgrass Zealot posts is going to be a challenge for me. As much as I really didn’t want to become a “blogger” in the first place, I REALLY don’t want to tackle a series. Especially this series. But I polled some people who I call friends and they put me up to saying I would do this. Of course, they are probably the same “friends” who would let me drink SeviMol, just to see me do “The Worm”. Yet, though, I still listen.

Turfheads are a magical breed. They don’t think like regular people and they really aren’t aliens. But there are things that they do, universally, that often just make no sense. Call it culture. Call it “The Biz”. Call it just being a monkey; it just plain happens. And it’s not just some regional thing where you can blame the air or the type of grass that gets grown or the existence of a particular Veruca Salt-like gadfly overseeding us all with their ideas on how to grow grass. In my travels, I have seen these things as universal misunderstood truths. Turfhead Mysteries.

I’m going to change a lot of names to protect the innocent and the morons here. I’m also going to give some examples to illustrate points. By no means does that mean I am targeting anyone. I can’t do this and water it down to the point that it has no teeth.

Part 1.1

In Which the Turfhead Complains Endlessly About A Bedfellow and Still Sleeps With Them Anyway.

In every geographical area I have ever visited, there is a regional company, distributor or even salesperson that everyone talks about as being the absolute worst at what they do. It’s not a now and again thing, it is a constant. I’ve seen it as a Super, as a Consultant, as an Advisor, as a Sales Rep and even as an expert witness. I’ve even seen it on vacation. Start a conversation about products and services with a Golf Course Superintendent about who they do business with and you will hear about the company that usually does everything right and the company that always does everything wrong.

The conversation about the company or rep or whomever always getting it right is usually brief and to the point. It’s their job. It’s what they are supposed to do. End of story.

The conversation about the distribution version of the Village Idiot is always the long one. It is a yarn spun of the stupid stuff said company or individual does. The story is often spiced with myriad examples of crossing the line of just plain stupidity. Bad service. Obscene prices. Wrong deliveries. General cluelessness. The stories are always flavored with the resulting hassles that occurred, the lost hours and the overall frustration of not getting what you want, when you want it and how you want it.

The story is often filled with all kinds of examples of crossing the line of just plain stupidity. Bad service. Obscene prices. Wrong deliveries. General cluelessness.

When I was growing grass, I thought often that is was just me: I must be too hard on them… I must have expectations that are just too grand, much like lots of my members… I need to chill. So before you go thinking that I don’t know what I’m talking about, let me express my guilt right here. Cuff me. I’m a Turfhead. I’ve bought from the idiots too, complained about them, fought with them and still thrown the bones.

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