"One forgives to the degree that one loves."  Francois de La Rochefoucauld 

I had planned on a different post this week, but the recent death of Nelson Mandela changed my mind. I am not sure if there has been another person in my lifetime who has effected as much positive change as he did. He was many things to many people; a revolutionary, a saint, a shrewd politician... but for me personally his greatest lesson came in his ability to forgive.

Mandela spent 27 years of his life imprisoned by the brutally oppressive South African government of the apartheid era. His last 17 years of imprisonment were spent at Robben Island prison. The best story I heard from his incarceration was that Mandela became fearful that while imprisoned he would never have the chance to love again. His confinement and solitary existence had all but robbed him of the ability to relate to others, let alone feel love for them.

But he did not let that stop him from making a crucial decision which most likely saved his life. He resolved to love his guards. No matter what was done to him in prison, he decided that he was going to love his captors.

After a time the wardens found they had difficulty assigning guards who would treat Mandela harshly; his ability to forgive and love had disabled them completely.

Upon his release from prison Nelson Mandela had to work hand in hand with the very people who had tortured and imprisoned him. He set about to rebuild his country and found that only through forgiveness could his people move on. Along with people like Bishop Desmond Tutu, Mandela established the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. This vehicle granted amnesty and forgiveness in exchange for the truth about what actually went on in that horrible time in South Africa's history.

So as we reflect on the legacy of this larger-than-life personality, how can we use his lesson of forgiveness to help our own lives? Maybe you could ask yourself a few of these questions:

• How is holding a grudge helping my life?
• Is my need to be right more important than my relationship with someone who has wronged me?
• Could I possibly look past the wrong and resolve to love instead?
• Can I take the time to forgive myself? (we can be our harshest prison guards by times)

Answering these questions truthfully isn't easy. Grudges become a part of our storyline, and we trick ourselves into thinking that we cannot let them go, no matter what. But just think for a moment where the country of South Africa would be if this man had not made the choice to love instead of hate.