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Randy Wilson

Author/Contributor
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  • Club/Course/Company
    TurfNet Media Network / Rockbottum Country Club
  • Location
    Rabun County, GA

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  1. Yeah, Kevin, we are proud to be on the TurfNet TV with you. I'd hate to be our competitors. And we still need to coagulate on a "mtn bike for supt's health" production.
  2. Lately, it's gotten more difficult to write humor. We start out funny and then for some reason, everything gets serious. To make things worse, Buddy's wife, Esmarelda, won't let him get within six feet of me or Ludell and that makes it hard to shoot film. But Buddy also says she won't let him within six feet of her, either. So after writing and tossing out a number of columns, radio shows and films, we were kind of discouraged . . . until Momma suggested we go into the film vault and find something from six or seven years ago. We fired up the old projector and all of a sudden, we felt much better, because we were visiting a much calmer, more relaxed time. We chose one of our favorite films ever: "Do You Hear Voices?" It features Kevin Ross as our special, albeit unwilling, guest, and after laughing at our ownselves . . . well, heck, we feel terrific now.
  3. In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW changes things up and leads off with Storytime, telling about the time he led a protest movement to overthrow a high school cafeteria. Then, as Anti-Golf occupies Rockbottum CC, turning it into a free "People's Park", chaos is averted as Ludell defuses the situation with a brilliant strategy that involves golf, mushrooms and common sense. RW explains his solution for fixin' all this turmoil, in the midst of a big manhunt for Cletus, who supposedly made off with Romina Satchel's unmentionables. Presented by DryJect.
  4. Holly Wood? No, our current pro is one of the Hempinpipes, not the kind who would associate with Spielberg.
  5. Buddy uses advanced tech to sanitize golf, while R.W. accidentally discovers why we need disinfecting.
  6. In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, direct from deep in the TurfNet Zone, Willy preaches the power of positive energy in the face of the negative vibrations emanating from... well, just about everywhere these days. Multi-tasking while preaching, Willy also must deal with troublesome golfers, weakening infrastructure, another Mushroom Burger Day, and allegations of poison on the Food and Beer cart. Boof whips up an Ipecac martini to silence an uppity golfer. During the hallucinogenic bliss of Shroom Burger Day, the truth behind what happened to Hector is accidentally revealed. Willy shares tips to help us endure an economic adjustment with a positive outlook, and then unleashes one of the great Storytime features, "Uncle Whip and the Packard". Presented by DryJect.
  7. Funny you mention that, Kevin. We have some footage we shot while riding a little known trail called Stonewall Falls, in which we asked you to come ride with us . . . but it hasn't made it to the edit suite yet. You beat us to it.
  8. On The Saturday Afternoon Movie, "O Ludell, Where Art Thou?", Ludell suspects that he has been zombiefied by the ankle-deep propaganda spewed forth onto his shag carpet through mind numbing microwave wifi beams. Late one night, he escapes his socially distant quarantine shelter at home isolation cell and seeks the safety of the screen-free mountain forests. While roaming loose in those mountains, Ludell foolishly begins to entertain forbidden thoughts and soon finds himself the target of a manhunt. Momma and Willy race to find Ludell before the Alphabets and their corporatized bloodhounds--who use alpha brain wave detectors--can track him down, neutralize his impure thoughts about Twitter and certify him into submissive silence.
  9. Thanks, Steve, although my spousal unit, Claire, suggests I'm more like Forrest Gump, "I'm not a smart man." It really is difficult to buy things made locally or regionally. Wally World is banned in our house, but occasionally I find a receipt for something from that big blue box and I have to accept the truth: I have no actual power or influence in our household.
  10. We first ran this film, “Force Multiplication Through Cross Training”, back in January of 2019, primarily to alert the golf industry to the possibility of another recession. We included an important strategy, taken from special ops, for creating a sustainable labor force capable of withstanding a major economic reset. Although the film encountered resistance, possibly due to “Normalcy Bias”, the Bat-Flu demonstrated how easily a recession can surface, especially in an overly complex economic structure. Along with the downturn comes another unexpected consequence, that being a disruption in our supply lines. From a military viewpoint, when supply lines are cut relatively close to the area where the supplies are needed, the effects are felt immediately. Those same effects, like shortages, panic buying and the rest, can also be corrected pretty quickly when the lines are restored. When supply lines are cut far away from the area of operations, the effects are not felt right away. However, when the shortages do begin, they typically last a long time. Our current supply lines are very long, with huge percentages of things we need coming from Asia. Whether it’s machine parts or pharmaceuticals, (supposedly 90% or more produced in China) a disruption of several months might require twice that time to return to previous levels. Like many of you, I monitor the various business indexes, although I tend to ignore the big ones, as they seem more like theatre. Some are heavily manipulated, probably to keep ignorant common folk like myself calm. But there is one index that indicates what’s happening in the supply lines: The BALTIC DRY INDEX. While it’s too complex for my simple mind, this index measures cargo, ships, costs, demand and other factors related to shipping. The Baltic Dry is currently really low . . . you could even say catatonic. It brings to mind what H. Ross Perot said back in ‘92 about “that giant sucking sound”, a reference to losing American jobs on the altar of globalism. If we had listened, perhaps we might have retained a greater share of production here in the US and that would mean shorter supply lines, a stronger tax base and a busy workforce. I’m not advocating stockpiling restroom paper, but I would suggest that you don’t wait for the B.O.D. and their accountants to show up demanding to know where the budget cuts are, and what priority level has been established. Prepare contingency plans by wargaming with your staff, looking for ways to offset supply line shortages and revenue shortfalls. Opportunity often presents itself in tough times. I suspect there are a number of brilliant, innovative individuals in this industry who could step in and design, fabricate and produce what is needed . . . especially if they didn’t have to compete with corporate slave labor from a communist country. Local and regional production could solve the problems of global supply line disruption and perhaps even bring improvements in quality and manufacturer accountability. If we find ourselves in a serious economic reset, let’s not give in to self pity, moaning about what we lost . . . let’s look for opportunities. Let’s fix things. Maybe start with that Just In Time inventory philosophy thought up by accountants incarcerated in airless cubicles. I can still remember walking into Turf Are Us to get some bedknives, and being told, “NO BEDKNIVES IN STOCK, BUT WE CAN AIR FREIGHT IT TO YA, $75 FOR OVERNIGHT, PLUS $23 RESTOCKING FEE, BE THERE WEDNESDAY.” Before they ejected me, I hollered, “But I need those today! And a restocking fee? You didn’t have it in stock to begin with!” It took a while for me to understand that JIT was a clever scheme to transfer inventory storage costs to the buyer. I'll bet there are probably other devious supply line schemes out there we could dismantle with some creative thinking . . . and if you have a few minutes, watch this film again.
  11. In this episode, Randy explains why Rockbottum Radio is more like an Old Timey radio show from 1940 than a modern podcast with serious interview segments. It's entertainment with a goofy perspective and an occasional subliminal message. The job of the golf course superintendent has gotten more serious over the years, and sometimes it helps to have a more relaxed if even twisted view of this industry. You know, with a few laughs... now more than ever. Among the shenanigans going on at Rockbottum CC, the closed course gets slammed with golfers, setting a record for play, forcing them to figure out a way to charge money while maintaining social distance distance. Boof gets electrocuted by his wife, Momma has to use her drones to maintain order on the course and they have to refuse to accept hundert dollar bills because they have some kind of chip in them. In Storytime, Willy tells another of those stories from '72 that probably should have remained in the vault, but has an important message in there somewhere. Enjoy the listen... and the break from the serious.
  12. Glad you enjoyed it, Fred. Without you, it would be really difficult to make these films. Now go back inside.
  13. Pretty sure these old phones run on magic. I only have to charge it up every ten days or so, it doesn't feed me constant BS like those hand computers and it rarely rings, except for short periods just after a I post a new film.
  14. Yes, Steve, it's a flip phone, or a smart phone as I refer to it, as it only cost me $25 a month. Skeletal golf, skeletal phones, skeletal . . . I was gonna say diet, but now that I spend all day within 20 feet of a fridge, that's going the other way.
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