Two years removed since making one of the biggest decisions of his life, Bryan Bergner is more content than ever.
In 2016, Bergner left his job as head superintendent at Westmoor Country Club in Milwaukee, trading his role on the golf course for that of a stay-at-home father so his wife could focus on her law career."
"It's not something I planned for," Bergner said. "But it's the best decision I've ever made."
In the years leading up to that decision, Bergner and wife Danielle were focused on their respective careers, he as head superintendent at Westmoor and Danielle as one of Milwaukee's up-and-coming commercial real estate attorneys.
That combination left little time for anything else.
"I would leave for work at 3 or 4 in the morning and be home at 2-ish. My wife would leave at 8 in the morning and not get home until 8 or 9 at night," said Bergner, now 46. "We were two ships passing, and our son was in the middle of it.
"Miles was just a couple of years old in September 2011 when I took over for a man who had been superintendent at Westmoor for 37 years. I felt like I had to show myself off those first two years and put my mark on Westmoor. I worked all the time, and that caused a rift in the family dynamic.
"I had been trying to be a superintendent for so long. It was all about me. My job was the most important thing to me."
Things had gotten so bad that the Bergners had separated and a divorce was looming.
"We were incredibly close to signing those papers," he said.
"I had moved out into a rental property we have at the beginning of the golf season. Our son was young enough that he didn't pick up on what was happening. I wouldn't wish that upon anybody. It was pure hell."
By many accounts, Danielle Bergner is one of Milwaukee's top commercial real estate attorneys. She is a managing partner at Michael Best & Friederich.
In May, she was named one of Milwaukee's Women of Influence by the Milwaukee Business Journal, and last year, she was recognized as an advocate and volunteer for change with a Philanthropic Five Award by the United Way.
Obviously, her career was not going to change.
"There was no way it was going to be my wife stepping away from her career," Bergner said. "I was paid well, but I wasn't going anywhere. She, on the other hand, had a tremendous amount of upward mobility."
Being a stay-at-home parent allows Bergner to focus on couple's son. That includes driving to and from school each day, volunteering for school activities, coaching Miles' basketball team and providing the security that comes with knowing a member of the nuclear family is raising their 8-year-old.
"I volunteer for recess and lunch duty three times a week and volunteer at school functions," he said. "Before, there was no way in hell I could do that. I'm using the same intensity I had at the golf course and using it at school now."
I wouldn't wish that upon anybody. It was pure hell."
The move also helped his wife in her career.
"Because of her position, she needed the reins off so she could make more connections. I was holding her back," he said.
"As soon as I stepped away, I was able to take care of everything. Her stress level dropped and her career has really taken off."
The time away from Westmoor has provided ample opportunity for self-reflection. He was a member of the search committee that hired his replacement - eventually settling on his assistant, Patrick Reuteman.
During Bergner's tenure there, the course installed new irrigation, a new pump station and all new greens.
"I had everything. I was at the peak of my career, but I was selfish," he said.
"I utilized every bit of technology to help me be away, but mentally I couldn't do it. I went to yoga four times a week, and it didn't help.
"I had a great crew, and looking back I should have trusted them more. They're all still there. I could have left for a month, and they wouldn't have missed a beat. I expected them to know what I was thinking. I expected them to be an extension of me. That's not how anyone works. Patrick has a better handle on that."
Will he ever return to the golf course?
"I get that a lot," Bergner said. "I had everything there. I don't think I'd ever want to claw my way back up.
"I was just out there the other day. Everything looks great, but when I was leaving, I said to myself, "geez, I'm glad I don't have to be here every day."