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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

Rockbottum Lost A Family Member

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, we pay tribute to Matt Jones, longtime member of Rockbottum, former Golf Course Superintendent, GM, US Army vet and more. In the second half of the show, we experience a rather severe outbreak of gossip, back-biting, name-calling and false witness bearing, which leads to Momma finding a solution to this current social media plague.

Heatherns At The Gate

Do you secretly watch Rockbottum CC, the longest running webisode on the entire internet?  You're not alone.  If you're new here, try to follow these rules and your job will be safe:  Never admit you watch, even to your most trusted associates.  Don't admit actually  knowing anyone from Rockbottum . . . and never, ever say anything in the comment section.        Now watch this film or I'll tell Momma.             

Countering The Invasive Species

My first encounter with invasive species on the golf course was with the Russian Thistle, a thorny, rolling, seed-spreading bush commonly called The Tumbleweed.  It happened on a raggedy 9-holer out in the barren Kettleman Hills of California, miles from nowhere.  I had been left alone to manage the course while Dad tried to make the cut in some tournament. At age 13, I could run the pro shop fairly well, clean the pool and pick the range, but I was an awful bartender.  I was nervous stayin

Rockbottum Radio: Tell it all, Brother, tell it all...

In this sensitive and revealing episode of Rockbottum Radio, the entire crew tells it all, aided by literary inspiration from Matt Jones and Peter McCormick... and Momma's Mushroom Truth Serum. Learn what really happened on Ludell's honeymoon and how Rockbottum plans to handle the ball rollback and Golf A.I.  Buddy returns from working on Science Interfusional National, an A.I. course, and then RW screws everything up by telling why he's been deliberately provoking the Imperials for 50

Our Most Important Film Ever

A few days ago, I slipped into a Mom and Pop coffee shop for a latte' and a blueberry scone.  (Ordinarily I'm not allowed to eat flour, but my handler was distracted by scented candles and Christmas lights.) The place was packed, full of people jammed next to each other, mesmerized by smartphones, tablets, and laptops; not a single soul looked up and took notice of me.   I could have been Genghis Khan on a zebra and only the barista would have noticed. Taking my coffee out onto the sid

Here It Comes

It almost feels like we are just sitting quietly while AI takes over our turf careers.  AI promises to help us work, but what if it intends to render us obsolete?  Shouldn't we at least offer some resistance? Contrary to popular narratives, Rockbottum Science states "AI does not think for itself, it's merely an improved algorithm."  If AI could actually think, we'd already be dead.  My Dad dealt with first generation AI, (Adolescent Imbeciles) and AI golf course personnel management was jus

In The Back Of The Night

It's that time of year when strange things happen, so it was no surprise when Freddy and Toad--effectively half of the Rockbottum CC crew--went missing while leaf-looking up on Dead Owl Ridge. Taking a great risk, Bodell saddled up to go find Freddy and Toad in the dark forests of North Georgia . . . and now Bodell and Willie are missing, too.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Storytime

Rockbottum Radio: Positivity Defeats Adversity

In this episode, RW hands out the coveted Rockbottum Major Award for the best TurfNet Forum Topic ever.  Momma has a lively discussion with a government official who mistakenly believes Social Security is an "Entitlement" while helping him realize the folks north of Richmond need to improve their listening skills.  Also, RW explains how to achieve positivity on the golf course by being positive, not just sounding positive.

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Podcast

Tales from the Night Waterman (2007)

The following is a reprint from 2007 for a special request. True confession:  I was a teenage night waterman.  It began innocently enough, with an impact Rain Bird fixation.  As a pre-teen golfer and offspring of a pro/super/general manager, my playing time often was compressed to that golden hour just before sunset when the big impact-driven sprinkler heads began to appear on the course. They stood tall, threw water over 100 feet and emitted a soothing, rhythmic noise that could be he

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Storytime

Rockbottum Radio: A New Plan for Golf

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, a serious discussion breaks out amidst the usual goofiness, pointing out how golf is about to enter The Fourth Turning.  The Rockbottum gang attempts to prepare for the onset of anti-logic perpetrated upon golf by the Rad-Greens and other irrational, oxygen-starved attention seekers.  Join us for the brilliance of Ludell, Momma, Willy and Boof as they duel with a carpetbagger from out west somewhere.

They Seek To Divide Us

There are divisive forces among us, like the Anti-Golf protestors who descended upon a golf course up north in much the same manner as the traffic blockers in London or the farm occupiers in Holland. They portray golf as a bunch of carbon-drenched rich folks still living on plantations.  (Never mind that carbon dioxide only makes up a tiny fraction of the atmosphere and turning 200 acres of turf into free housing would mean even more asphalt hot spots and increased surface runoff.) Gol

Techno-Phobia, Back From The Digital Grave

Because a great many TurfNet villagers have never seen "Techno-Phobia", we gave a wad of money to a techno-shaman to resurrect a dead hard drive containing the film.  Dating back to 2006, Techno-Phobia is a collection of harsh predictions for the golf industry that have since come true. We re-released it for several reasons, the first being our reply to golf industry writers--with no experience as superintendents--who doggedly preach the glorious future of tech while simultaneously attempti

What Coffee Does Momma Really Drink?

Rockbottum CC is overrun with unrepentant coffee snobs.  Momma, Willy, and Ludell drink only one brand of coffee and only through a stainless steel French Press.  Exactly what coffee Momma buys has been classified for years, but recent security leaks threaten to reveal our dark secret to the unwashed public, especially those consumers of instant, freeze -dried and that stuff that came in C-Rations. To get ahead of the story, we released this short film, before Buddy could put his spin

They Want Their Clutter Back

In this short film, Willy of Rockbottum reveals the real reason you might not want to skip pulling cores this year.  Also, Rockbottum News will avoid controversy this summer and stick to kinder, gentler subjects like . . . those pro tour cupcakes, the ugly rumors that golfers are demanding the return of tee clutter, and the truth behind the uptick in golf course fightin' and brawlin' and harsh language.  

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