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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

Yes, I Hear Voices

Yes, I Hear Voices

Lately, it's gotten more difficult to write humor.  We start out funny and then for some reason, everything gets serious.  To make things worse, Buddy's wife, Esmarelda, won't let him get within six feet of me or Ludell and that makes it hard to shoot film.  But Buddy also says she won't let him within six feet of her, either. So after writing and tossing out a number of columns, radio shows and films, we were kind of discouraged . . . until Momma suggested we go into the film vault and fin

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Rockbottum Radio: Why Can't We Be Friends?

Rockbottum Radio: Why Can't We Be Friends?

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW changes things up and leads off with Storytime, telling about the time he led a protest movement to overthrow a high school cafeteria. Then, as Anti-Golf occupies Rockbottum CC, turning it into a free "People's Park", chaos is averted as Ludell defuses the situation with a brilliant strategy that involves golf, mushrooms and common sense. RW explains his solution for fixin' all this turmoil, in the midst of a big manhunt for Cletus, who supposedl
Rockbottum Radio: Positive Energy Defeats Negative Vibes

Rockbottum Radio: Positive Energy Defeats Negative Vibes

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, direct from deep in the TurfNet Zone, Willy preaches the power of positive energy in the face of the negative vibrations emanating from... well, just about everywhere these days. Multi-tasking while preaching, Willy also must deal with troublesome golfers, weakening infrastructure, another Mushroom Burger Day, and allegations of poison on the Food and Beer cart. Boof whips up an Ipecac martini to silence an uppity golfer. During the hallucinogenic b
O Ludell, Where Art Thou?

O Ludell, Where Art Thou?

On The Saturday Afternoon Movie, "O Ludell, Where Art Thou?", Ludell suspects that he has been zombiefied by the ankle-deep propaganda spewed forth onto his shag carpet through mind numbing microwave wifi beams. Late one night, he escapes his socially distant quarantine shelter at home isolation cell and seeks the safety of the screen-free mountain forests. While roaming loose in those mountains, Ludell foolishly begins to entertain forbidden thoughts and soon finds himself the target
An Important Rerun

An Important Rerun

We first ran this film, “Force Multiplication Through Cross Training”, back in January of 2019, primarily to alert the golf industry to the possibility of another recession.  We included an important strategy, taken from special ops, for creating a sustainable labor force capable of withstanding a major economic reset.  Although the film encountered resistance, possibly due to “Normalcy Bias”, the Bat-Flu demonstrated how easily a recession can surface, especially in an overly complex economic s

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Rockbottum Radio: Rockbottum Adapts to Golf 2020

Rockbottum Radio: Rockbottum Adapts to Golf 2020

In this episode, Randy explains why Rockbottum Radio is more like an Old Timey radio show from 1940 than a modern podcast with serious interview segments. It's entertainment with a goofy perspective and an occasional subliminal message. The job of the golf course superintendent has gotten more serious over the years, and sometimes it helps to have a more relaxed if even twisted view of this industry. You know, with a few laughs... now more than ever. Among the shenanigans going on at Rockbo
Isolated

Isolated

In this episode of Rockbottum Country Club, R.W. , a non-essential worker, is isolated.  The following film documents his battles with cabin fever, carpet grain, clubhouse socialism and . . . Momma.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Our Top 3 Youtube Golf Channels

Our Top 3 Youtube Golf Channels

In the event you find yourself confined to quarters and have depleted Netflix, Hulu, Roku and Amazon Prime of every single show, film and reality bilge . . . before you are forced to turn to books, try going deep on The Youtube. To save you some time, we here at Rockbottum CC are happy to offer our Top Three Greatest Golf Channels on Youtube. Before we announce the winners, allow us to explain why we are qualified to select the winners. Rockbottum Country Club, is arguably the Longest Runni

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

In The Lab:  Hoban, Dr. Derek Settle and a bunch of Nematodes

In The Lab: Hoban, Dr. Derek Settle and a bunch of Nematodes

Mark Hoban takes us inside Dr. Derek Settle's secret laboratory, where they conduct all sorts of research on both kinds of nematodes:  The Bad Guys and the Good Guys. This is another one of Hoban's college level courses, so be prepared to learn some things about nematodes you didn't know, along with a strategy for managing the little . . . rascals. If you need Mystic Order of Greenkeeper CEU points, be sure to stay 'til the end, because there is a summation and a test.
Pearls of Rockbottum Wisdom

Pearls of Rockbottum Wisdom

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, the brilliance fairly gushes forth from the inhabitants of Rockbottum, with advice, observations and rants on everything from Skeletal Golf Theory to concussions, low budget superintendent relaxation techniques, fake waterfalls, what happened when the Mayor's wife picked a fight with Momma... and why playing your own golf course is not playing golf. It's something else. Finally, beware the red-circled tree for man-relief. Presented by DryJect.

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Katy Returns To Rockbottum

Katy Returns To Rockbottum

The Rockbottum Gang is all back together for this feature film teaser.  Katy returns from New York, Leroy is back from Colorado, Buddy comes out of retirement, Ludell looks positively awful after his first visit to a real barber and  . . . Bobbie Sue Hogwaller shows up to put everyone on edge.  Watch the trailer for "The Floating Head of Death", adapted from The Greens of Wrath, and see if you can sleep tonight.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Rockbottum Radio: How to Improve Your BS Filter

Rockbottum Radio: How to Improve Your BS Filter

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, presented by DryJect, Randy reveals his proven method for upgrading your BS filter. Then, Fester N. Boyle, the former green chair at Stinkin' Pond CC drops by to offer Momma some suggestions on golf maintenance. Ludell sells golf insurance and extended golf swing warranties before getting in real trouble when he joins Buddy in a special yoga class at the gym, while Randy goes on about how to use Crowd Wisdom to see the future of golf. In Storytime,

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Rockbottum Radio: It's a Wonderful Golf Life, 2019

Rockbottum Radio: It's a Wonderful Golf Life, 2019

In this holiday episode of Rockbottum Radio, among zero-environmental impact mowers and white-lightning eggnog, it's the annual Christmas dinner for the crew and a twisted attempt at caroling ("In the fairway we can build a snowman..."). Aint Feemy runs over a slow-play golfer with her cart for calling her a Boomer. And, for Storytime, RW tells about his most memorable Christmas (1977, after two seasons as an assistant superintendent), when he also discovered Clarence the angel and Mr. Potter.

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Top 3 Skeletal Golf Tips Of 2019!

Top 3 Skeletal Golf Tips Of 2019!

Check out our Top 3 Skeletal Golf Tips of the Year! #1:   Dustin Riley of Oconomowoc Golf Club in Wisconsin, is this year’s big winner.  Dustin wins the Rockbottum “Iron Skillet”* for his amazing tip on reframing tees to fit your spray rig.  (See TurfNet Forum)  Instead of just topdressing heavy or capping and leveling a tee designed and built by somebody with no GCS experience, Dustin explains how to reframe the tee to the specs needed to match your spray rig.  This is brilliant SGT thinki

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Take Time Off (without taking time off)

Take Time Off (without taking time off)

In this short film from our "Boots & Ruck" division, we explain how you can take a mental break by practicing "Forest Bathing". *Note:  If you absolutely cannot remain clothed to Forest Bathe, we suggest you at least keep your boots on.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Rockbottum Radio: Fixing the Worst-Ever Social Credit Score

Rockbottum Radio: Fixing the Worst-Ever Social Credit Score

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW seeks to avoid offensive discourse by installing a special Podcast Offensive Warning Device (POWD), which emits a BS alert when anything potentially offensive is emitted. The screen-free gang at Rockbottum CC receives the worst-ever Social Credit Score, forcing Momma to retain a Social Engineering Expert -- Horton Pantslow -- to bring Rockbottum CC into the modern era. A mandatory staff meeting after lunch ensues. The first lesson of Horton's sem

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

UFOs Linked To Golf Courses?

UFOs Linked To Golf Courses?

Now that the US Government has admitted UFOs are real, (See The Youtube, F-18 gun camera) I feel safe in pursuing the link between UFOs and golf.  The photo below, taken two years ago on a golf course in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, by Rockbottum Dave, is unretouched.  Dave was doing his Irrigation Tech thing, when he accidentally captured a shot of a UFO.  (Is it “a” UFO or “an” UFO?)  We featured this photo in a short film, but viewers assumed it was just more of our filmic trickery and ignored it. 

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Goose-icide with Buddy

Goose-icide with Buddy

Brian Nettz, the Grand Poohbah of The Mystic Order of Greenkeepers, West Coast Division, ordered us to help with the latest Goose Situation.    

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Rockbottum Radio: Who is poaching our assistants?

Rockbottum Radio: Who is poaching our assistants?

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW reveals who is poaching our assistants, equipment techs and crew members, while explaining how to defeat the Mole People with careful use of the TurfNet Jobs board.  In "Storytime" he tells about the time the Mole People almost got him. Also, Boof gets into it with Aint Feemy about her yoga pants, the gang provides a few tips to help determine whether your course is operating under Skeletal parameters or has just hit Rockbottum, and the Anti-Golf

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Exercise, Brain Function and Depression

Exercise, Brain Function and Depression

Not long ago, a group of some of the smartest folks in golf maintenance approached a powerful entity about presenting a class or a panel or a Ned Talk dealing with the mental pressures faced by the modern turf pro.  I don’t know the backstory on this, but from what I surmised from a few tweets, it was received with a negative vibe.  However, I do know that in Rockbottum CC Philosophy 201, a basic tenet states:  “Insecure folks, when presented with a great idea, will often suppress it until they

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Gnomicus:  Curative or Preventative?

Gnomicus: Curative or Preventative?

And so it was, that in the last days of August, as the members became even more snippity and finicky and fickle, Rockbottum CC came to the rescue like . . .  Batman.  (1965 Batman, not the current Dark Knight--he's too much like a board member.) Because our mission, as it has always been, is to lighten it up and keep you from shoving a golfer’s head through the new sheetrock in the restroom on #4.    

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson


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