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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

When The Police Show Up . . .

When The Police Show Up . . .

1969, Southwest of Fresno:  It was nearing midnight on a chilly Friday in October, when an old school bus rattled into the driveway of the Polvadero Country Club, a nine holer out in the middle of the nowhere known as Kettleman Hills.  The bus was loaded with high school football players being delivered home after an away game in Kerman.  Fernando the driver was skillfully circling the empty clubhouse parking lot when his headlights swept across a woman standing alone, holding a shotgun at port
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0
Rockbottum Radio: "A Fool's Name is Like His Face . . ."

Rockbottum Radio: "A Fool's Name is Like His Face . . ."

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW discusses working for corporations and the increasing complexities of lengthy supply line disruptions in modern times.   Ludell returns from the future to explain how Gen Z solved the problem of professional politicians... and reveals what golf can expect from corporate water tech. In Storytime, RW tells the tale of his first encounter with corporate indentured servitude:  Woolworth's. Presented by DryJect.
Adjust Your Brain . . . Naturally

Adjust Your Brain . . . Naturally

Are your stress levels cranked up to "Berserker" and beyond?  Is your brain simmering in stress soup courtesy of too much input?  If so, take a few moments to learn The Rockbottum CC Method* for Adjusting Your Brain Chemistry Naturally--and become a happy and relaxed human for several hours.  *NOTE:  Does not require beating a golf vandal senseless, although . . .   
Close Encounters of the Golf Kind

Close Encounters of the Golf Kind

According to Ludell's contacts in the intelligence community, June of 2021 will see a huge release of UFO film, video, and documents formerly classified beyond Top Secret. (They will, however, continue to suppress the mysterious connection between golf and Alien Space Ships.) If you can handle the truth, watch this explosive film from RBCC, the longest running webisode on the whole dang internet.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4
The Crew Restroom Dilemma

The Crew Restroom Dilemma

Has your crew been ill-tempered lately?  Kind of . . . on the edge, showing signs of unrest?  Have you heard them muttering phrases like, "Took my stapler" or "Aye, Captain Bligh" while they work dark to dark? Could be you're working them like a rented mule, while you and the assistants attend tea parties at the clubhouse, Downton Abbey style.  Maybe the pay is too low, especially if somebody's lazy brother-in-law is sitting home making more on unemployment, running up high scores on Call o
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4
It Ain't The X's and O's

It Ain't The X's and O's

There's an old saying in football coaching:  "It ain't the X's and the O's, it's the Jimmies and the Joes."  The winless coach considers this to be profound wisdom, while the winning coach will stress the quality of leadership as the most important factor in a team's success.  While coaching high school football, after my GCS career was over, I learned that the X's and O's rule was really more of a 50/50 formula.  Even a great coach can't win if the team is a bunch of cupcakes  . . . but it work
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4
Extreme Golfer Personality Disorders

Extreme Golfer Personality Disorders

The following online film course, "Extreme Golfer Personality Disorders"  is an uncomfortable, brutal look at what lies in wait for the turf school graduate, and as such, should probably be viewed by veteran golf course superintendents only.  If you complete the course, you will not only accumulate 15 CEUs for Mystic Order of Greenkeeper certification, but will join the ranks of famous superintendents like Brian Nettz, Anthony Williams, Fred Gehrisch and Mark Hoban.  (Mark had to take the t
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

5
Got Nematodes? Let's Whack 'Em!

Got Nematodes? Let's Whack 'Em!

In this film from Rockbottum CC, nematode specialist Derek Settle reveals new 'Tode Warfare secrets. To give you some idea of how dedicated this guy is, the only time we could catch up with him was Christmas morning.  Instead of opening presents around the digital fire, Derek was out in the freezing cold, helping the TurfNet Village prepare for nematode season.  (We have enough microscopic trouble to deal with already, we don't need more, especially in our greens.) Also in this episode
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2
Randy Wilson: Rockbottum Radio, Christmas 2020

Randy Wilson: Rockbottum Radio, Christmas 2020

In this Christmas 2020 episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW and the gang go in depth on several of their ideas for dealing with the golf surge, from the good to the bad to the ugly. Momma develops her best ever method for dealing with golfer complaints and then for Storytime, RW tells about the mysterious Coach Zontek (not the one you might think...). Happy Holidays from Rockbottum Country Club, and here's to a MUCH better 2021!
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0
Lockdown? What Lockdown?

Lockdown? What Lockdown?

From our "Boots & Ruck" film division, we offer this short film on the dangers associated with lockdowns and too much togetherness.     Note:  This film has been fact checked by our internal experts, so don't bother offering any differing opinions.    
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4
Rockbottum Radio: Great Leaps Forward (and backward) in Golf

Rockbottum Radio: Great Leaps Forward (and backward) in Golf

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW and the Rockbottum gang discuss Great Leaps Forward (GLFs) in Golf, along with a few Great Leaps Backward. They also present the Rockbottum CC Frying Pan for Excellence in Skeletal Golf Theory Award to the winner. In Storytime, Willy tells about the time an evil golf pro made a great leap backward with a little help from a teenager who shall remain nameless. Presented by DryJect.
Peter McCormick

Peter McCormick

3
Rockbottum Radio: Rivermont - not the ABCDEFGs - is the Future...

Rockbottum Radio: Rivermont - not the ABCDEFGs - is the Future...

In this October episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW explains why Rivermont Golf Club is the Model for the future of golf... Ludell recalls the worst GCS tyrant ever... and the gang discusses what makes the best face masks. Before he takes us along for a trip to the dermatologist, RW tells how to be a legendary golf architect. Also, just before heading out to early vote, the pro shop tunes into a mysterious broadcast from RW's long forgotten Altered Ego, Ydnar, who offers a solution to the chaos
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2
Showdown At Ballhawk Creek

Showdown At Ballhawk Creek

What follows is a recently declassified story that was not included in "The Greens of Wrath".  Because it's nearly peak ballhawk season, the tale of Ballhawk Creek seems an appropriate selection for this week, and I will include a few tips to help you commit optimum ballhawkery. I have reason to believe this will be the greatest ballhawk season since Lee Trevino won the US Open in '68.  The aftermath of that event triggered a massive surge of rabid golf newbies who covered the roughs and fo
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

5
When Fudgie Got Mr. Riffington

When Fudgie Got Mr. Riffington

In 1959, while still a toddler, I was forcibly indoctrinated into the cult of golf.  Handed a plastic 3-wood, I was taught a series of carved-in-stone golf truths that had to be committed to memory and recited like the multiplication tables.  First, was Play Fast!  Next, I was to always stay out of the backswing zone of big women, because they could knock your teeth out.  (Learned that one the hard way.)  I also learned that a plastic 3-wood was particularly suited to killing chickens. In a
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

7
Rockbottum Radio: News, Tips & Analysis for August,2020

Rockbottum Radio: News, Tips & Analysis for August,2020

In this episode, RW and gang deal with "News Depression" and how to fix it, as well as "Skin Cancer and The GCS"... and our solution.  Rockbottum tackles questionable turf lab results and the best way to cure them, and studies an important survey that affects the golf course crew. Also, they discuss spoiled tour players, the impact of social media on our jobs, and then go in-depth on the current golf boom and how to sustain it. Presented by DryJect.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4
Golf . . . Re-imagined

Golf . . . Re-imagined

And now, the latest short film from Rockbottum CC . . . and also, a quote from the greatest writer in the history of the US: "I have been called a curmudgeon, which my obsolescent dictionary defines as a 'surly, ill-mannered, bad-tempered fellow'.  Nowadays, curmudgeon is likely to refer to anyone who hates hypocrisy, cant, sham, dogmatic ideologies, and has the nerve to point out unpleasant facts and takes the trouble to impale these sins on the skewer of humor and roast them over the fire
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

7
Rockbottum Radio: Facing A Renovation? One Thing You Need To Know...

Rockbottum Radio: Facing A Renovation? One Thing You Need To Know...

In this more serious episode from Rockbottum Country Club, we share our experience in golf course renovations and resurrections. In Storytime, we tell about one of our most successful reno projects ever. Cletus solves the coronavirus mask shortage problem; visiting "Science Boy, Ph.D." tests a new technique for killing sting 'todes, and Willy gets thrown in timeout for fighting amongst himself. Presented by DryJect.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2
Yes, I Hear Voices

Yes, I Hear Voices

Lately, it's gotten more difficult to write humor.  We start out funny and then for some reason, everything gets serious.  To make things worse, Buddy's wife, Esmarelda, won't let him get within six feet of me or Ludell and that makes it hard to shoot film.  But Buddy also says she won't let him within six feet of her, either. So after writing and tossing out a number of columns, radio shows and films, we were kind of discouraged . . . until Momma suggested we go into the film vault and fin
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4
Rockbottum Radio: Why Can't We Be Friends?

Rockbottum Radio: Why Can't We Be Friends?

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW changes things up and leads off with Storytime, telling about the time he led a protest movement to overthrow a high school cafeteria. Then, as Anti-Golf occupies Rockbottum CC, turning it into a free "People's Park", chaos is averted as Ludell defuses the situation with a brilliant strategy that involves golf, mushrooms and common sense. RW explains his solution for fixin' all this turmoil, in the midst of a big manhunt for Cletus, who supposedl
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2
Rockbottum Radio: Positive Energy Defeats Negative Vibes

Rockbottum Radio: Positive Energy Defeats Negative Vibes

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, direct from deep in the TurfNet Zone, Willy preaches the power of positive energy in the face of the negative vibrations emanating from... well, just about everywhere these days. Multi-tasking while preaching, Willy also must deal with troublesome golfers, weakening infrastructure, another Mushroom Burger Day, and allegations of poison on the Food and Beer cart. Boof whips up an Ipecac martini to silence an uppity golfer. During the hallucinogenic b
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0
O Ludell, Where Art Thou?

O Ludell, Where Art Thou?

On The Saturday Afternoon Movie, "O Ludell, Where Art Thou?", Ludell suspects that he has been zombiefied by the ankle-deep propaganda spewed forth onto his shag carpet through mind numbing microwave wifi beams. Late one night, he escapes his socially distant quarantine shelter at home isolation cell and seeks the safety of the screen-free mountain forests. While roaming loose in those mountains, Ludell foolishly begins to entertain forbidden thoughts and soon finds himself the target
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2
An Important Rerun

An Important Rerun

We first ran this film, “Force Multiplication Through Cross Training”, back in January of 2019, primarily to alert the golf industry to the possibility of another recession.  We included an important strategy, taken from special ops, for creating a sustainable labor force capable of withstanding a major economic reset.  Although the film encountered resistance, possibly due to “Normalcy Bias”, the Bat-Flu demonstrated how easily a recession can surface, especially in an overly complex economic s
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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