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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

Showdown At Ballhawk Creek

Showdown At Ballhawk Creek

What follows is a recently declassified story that was not included in "The Greens of Wrath".  Because it's nearly peak ballhawk season, the tale of Ballhawk Creek seems an appropriate selection for this week, and I will include a few tips to help you commit optimum ballhawkery. I have reason to believe this will be the greatest ballhawk season since Lee Trevino won the US Open in '68.  The aftermath of that event triggered a massive surge of rabid golf newbies who covered the roughs and fo

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

When Fudgie Got Mr. Riffington

When Fudgie Got Mr. Riffington

In 1959, while still a toddler, I was forcibly indoctrinated into the cult of golf.  Handed a plastic 3-wood, I was taught a series of carved-in-stone golf truths that had to be committed to memory and recited like the multiplication tables.  First, was Play Fast!  Next, I was to always stay out of the backswing zone of big women, because they could knock your teeth out.  (Learned that one the hard way.)  I also learned that a plastic 3-wood was particularly suited to killing chickens. In a

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Rockbottum Radio: News, Tips & Analysis for August,2020

Rockbottum Radio: News, Tips & Analysis for August,2020

In this episode, RW and gang deal with "News Depression" and how to fix it, as well as "Skin Cancer and The GCS"... and our solution.  Rockbottum tackles questionable turf lab results and the best way to cure them, and studies an important survey that affects the golf course crew. Also, they discuss spoiled tour players, the impact of social media on our jobs, and then go in-depth on the current golf boom and how to sustain it. Presented by DryJect.

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Golf . . . Re-imagined

Golf . . . Re-imagined

And now, the latest short film from Rockbottum CC . . . and also, a quote from the greatest writer in the history of the US: "I have been called a curmudgeon, which my obsolescent dictionary defines as a 'surly, ill-mannered, bad-tempered fellow'.  Nowadays, curmudgeon is likely to refer to anyone who hates hypocrisy, cant, sham, dogmatic ideologies, and has the nerve to point out unpleasant facts and takes the trouble to impale these sins on the skewer of humor and roast them over the fire

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Rockbottum Radio: Facing A Renovation? One Thing You Need To Know...

Rockbottum Radio: Facing A Renovation? One Thing You Need To Know...

In this more serious episode from Rockbottum Country Club, we share our experience in golf course renovations and resurrections. In Storytime, we tell about one of our most successful reno projects ever. Cletus solves the coronavirus mask shortage problem; visiting "Science Boy, Ph.D." tests a new technique for killing sting 'todes, and Willy gets thrown in timeout for fighting amongst himself. Presented by DryJect.
Yes, I Hear Voices

Yes, I Hear Voices

Lately, it's gotten more difficult to write humor.  We start out funny and then for some reason, everything gets serious.  To make things worse, Buddy's wife, Esmarelda, won't let him get within six feet of me or Ludell and that makes it hard to shoot film.  But Buddy also says she won't let him within six feet of her, either. So after writing and tossing out a number of columns, radio shows and films, we were kind of discouraged . . . until Momma suggested we go into the film vault and fin
Rockbottum Radio: Why Can't We Be Friends?

Rockbottum Radio: Why Can't We Be Friends?

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW changes things up and leads off with Storytime, telling about the time he led a protest movement to overthrow a high school cafeteria. Then, as Anti-Golf occupies Rockbottum CC, turning it into a free "People's Park", chaos is averted as Ludell defuses the situation with a brilliant strategy that involves golf, mushrooms and common sense. RW explains his solution for fixin' all this turmoil, in the midst of a big manhunt for Cletus, who supposedl
Rockbottum Radio: Positive Energy Defeats Negative Vibes

Rockbottum Radio: Positive Energy Defeats Negative Vibes

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, direct from deep in the TurfNet Zone, Willy preaches the power of positive energy in the face of the negative vibrations emanating from... well, just about everywhere these days. Multi-tasking while preaching, Willy also must deal with troublesome golfers, weakening infrastructure, another Mushroom Burger Day, and allegations of poison on the Food and Beer cart. Boof whips up an Ipecac martini to silence an uppity golfer. During the hallucinogenic b
O Ludell, Where Art Thou?

O Ludell, Where Art Thou?

On The Saturday Afternoon Movie, "O Ludell, Where Art Thou?", Ludell suspects that he has been zombiefied by the ankle-deep propaganda spewed forth onto his shag carpet through mind numbing microwave wifi beams. Late one night, he escapes his socially distant quarantine shelter at home isolation cell and seeks the safety of the screen-free mountain forests. While roaming loose in those mountains, Ludell foolishly begins to entertain forbidden thoughts and soon finds himself the target
An Important Rerun

An Important Rerun

We first ran this film, “Force Multiplication Through Cross Training”, back in January of 2019, primarily to alert the golf industry to the possibility of another recession.  We included an important strategy, taken from special ops, for creating a sustainable labor force capable of withstanding a major economic reset.  Although the film encountered resistance, possibly due to “Normalcy Bias”, the Bat-Flu demonstrated how easily a recession can surface, especially in an overly complex economic s

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Rockbottum Radio: Rockbottum Adapts to Golf 2020

Rockbottum Radio: Rockbottum Adapts to Golf 2020

In this episode, Randy explains why Rockbottum Radio is more like an Old Timey radio show from 1940 than a modern podcast with serious interview segments. It's entertainment with a goofy perspective and an occasional subliminal message. The job of the golf course superintendent has gotten more serious over the years, and sometimes it helps to have a more relaxed if even twisted view of this industry. You know, with a few laughs... now more than ever. Among the shenanigans going on at Rockbo
Isolated

Isolated

In this episode of Rockbottum Country Club, R.W. , a non-essential worker, is isolated.  The following film documents his battles with cabin fever, carpet grain, clubhouse socialism and . . . Momma.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Our Top 3 Youtube Golf Channels

Our Top 3 Youtube Golf Channels

In the event you find yourself confined to quarters and have depleted Netflix, Hulu, Roku and Amazon Prime of every single show, film and reality bilge . . . before you are forced to turn to books, try going deep on The Youtube. To save you some time, we here at Rockbottum CC are happy to offer our Top Three Greatest Golf Channels on Youtube. Before we announce the winners, allow us to explain why we are qualified to select the winners. Rockbottum Country Club, is arguably the Longest Runni

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

In The Lab:  Hoban, Dr. Derek Settle and a bunch of Nematodes

In The Lab: Hoban, Dr. Derek Settle and a bunch of Nematodes

Mark Hoban takes us inside Dr. Derek Settle's secret laboratory, where they conduct all sorts of research on both kinds of nematodes:  The Bad Guys and the Good Guys. This is another one of Hoban's college level courses, so be prepared to learn some things about nematodes you didn't know, along with a strategy for managing the little . . . rascals. If you need Mystic Order of Greenkeeper CEU points, be sure to stay 'til the end, because there is a summation and a test.
Pearls of Rockbottum Wisdom

Pearls of Rockbottum Wisdom

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, the brilliance fairly gushes forth from the inhabitants of Rockbottum, with advice, observations and rants on everything from Skeletal Golf Theory to concussions, low budget superintendent relaxation techniques, fake waterfalls, what happened when the Mayor's wife picked a fight with Momma... and why playing your own golf course is not playing golf. It's something else. Finally, beware the red-circled tree for man-relief. Presented by DryJect.

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Katy Returns To Rockbottum

Katy Returns To Rockbottum

The Rockbottum Gang is all back together for this feature film teaser.  Katy returns from New York, Leroy is back from Colorado, Buddy comes out of retirement, Ludell looks positively awful after his first visit to a real barber and  . . . Bobbie Sue Hogwaller shows up to put everyone on edge.  Watch the trailer for "The Floating Head of Death", adapted from The Greens of Wrath, and see if you can sleep tonight.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Rockbottum Radio: How to Improve Your BS Filter

Rockbottum Radio: How to Improve Your BS Filter

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, presented by DryJect, Randy reveals his proven method for upgrading your BS filter. Then, Fester N. Boyle, the former green chair at Stinkin' Pond CC drops by to offer Momma some suggestions on golf maintenance. Ludell sells golf insurance and extended golf swing warranties before getting in real trouble when he joins Buddy in a special yoga class at the gym, while Randy goes on about how to use Crowd Wisdom to see the future of golf. In Storytime,

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Rockbottum Radio: It's a Wonderful Golf Life, 2019

Rockbottum Radio: It's a Wonderful Golf Life, 2019

In this holiday episode of Rockbottum Radio, among zero-environmental impact mowers and white-lightning eggnog, it's the annual Christmas dinner for the crew and a twisted attempt at caroling ("In the fairway we can build a snowman..."). Aint Feemy runs over a slow-play golfer with her cart for calling her a Boomer. And, for Storytime, RW tells about his most memorable Christmas (1977, after two seasons as an assistant superintendent), when he also discovered Clarence the angel and Mr. Potter.

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Top 3 Skeletal Golf Tips Of 2019!

Top 3 Skeletal Golf Tips Of 2019!

Check out our Top 3 Skeletal Golf Tips of the Year! #1:   Dustin Riley of Oconomowoc Golf Club in Wisconsin, is this year’s big winner.  Dustin wins the Rockbottum “Iron Skillet”* for his amazing tip on reframing tees to fit your spray rig.  (See TurfNet Forum)  Instead of just topdressing heavy or capping and leveling a tee designed and built by somebody with no GCS experience, Dustin explains how to reframe the tee to the specs needed to match your spray rig.  This is brilliant SGT thinki

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Take Time Off (without taking time off)

Take Time Off (without taking time off)

In this short film from our "Boots & Ruck" division, we explain how you can take a mental break by practicing "Forest Bathing". *Note:  If you absolutely cannot remain clothed to Forest Bathe, we suggest you at least keep your boots on.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson


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