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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

The Vandals Are Coming

When the Visigoths, Ostrogoths, Huns, and Norsemen invaded, they typically came during the day.  But the Golf Vandals are an entirely different bunch.  A cowardly, mindless tribe, the Golf Vandals favor the cover of night.   Agitated by their ever present hand-screens, they can quickly become hysterical when faced with reality. You can use techno-wizardry to neutralize the GV, but remember:  While they are easily frightened, they will return in greater numbers. NOTE:  The counter-measu

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Rockbottum Philosophy

Return of The Brass Monkey

One of the most brilliant Rockbottum films ever produced was "The Brass Monkey Alert", shot somewhere around 13 years ago.  Suppressed by powerful forces in golf, the film was banished to the cold darkness of the censored TN film vault, along with that film we made about a magazine. But now, emboldened by modern times and a crusty "I don't care anymore" attitude that comes from hitting a certain age, we are unleashing The Brass Monkey once again.  Watch to the end to learn some important ti

Backyard Bentgrass

In the "And Now For Something Completely Different" category--because it's unhealthy to obsess on the digital hysteria currently being poured into our skulls--here is some comedy.  We went deep into the Rockbottum Vault and extracted a film that we've kept hidden for many years.  If you are unable to laugh at this, you don't need a doctor, just delete Tikkity-Tok, Space-Book, Tweety, and stop carrying that phone around like it's some kind of life support system.    

Rockbottum Radio: How Did We Get HERE?

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, Rockbottum CC's latest hire prefers to work from home, inflation takes a toll on course operations, and RW shifts his customer emphasis from thrifty golfers to the elite class.  A run-in with royalty leads RW to wonder how we got here.

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Podcast

Mental Toughness in the Heat

Every few years, it gets hot.  This thrills the mass media because it allows them to pound the fear drums and increase their ratings.  So, whenever it gets warm outside, we release a training film full of helpful tips designed to strengthen mental toughness in the heat.  As a bonus, here is a column from ten years ago, explaining our most valuable strategy for dealing with the heat: The 100 Days of Hell Actually, it's more like 120 days for those of us trapped on a bentgrass plantation

The Birth of Skeletal Golf Theory

In the early summer of 1969, Dad took the reins of Polvadero Country Club, an emaciated crispy nine-holer located in the dry and dusty Kettleman Hills near Coalinga, California.  Destined to be the Head Pro, GM, GCS, and Bartender--that last one was kind of tough for a non-drinker--he took immediate action. First, Dad evaluated the staff, which consisted of Fernando, age 35, who also worked close by at a cotton farm; in addition, there was 14 year-old me, a fairly useless, easily distracted

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

California's ill-considered attempt to convert municipal courses to affordable housing is expertly explained by John Reitman in a recent news article featuring Craig Kessler of the Southern California Golf Association.  Craig played a key role in helping to defeat the bill, defending municipal golf and citing the critical role the muni plays in recruiting future players.  In Reitman's article, Craig said, " . . . municipal golf is the meat and potatoes we all grew up on . . ." That's a smoo

Find Work/Life Balance

In this rather insensitive film, Momma crashes her bike, Buddy reveals his true name and the secret of his success, Tiffany tells a horror story, Bodell and Jimmy Cole explain why they jumped off the assistant superintendent ladder and Willy details how the Wilsons survived decades of pressure golf through existential mountain biking. Learn how you too can ride the mountain bike to attain improved mental stability, physical wonderfulness and at the same time, attract assistant superintenden

Get The Happy Prescription

At Rockbottum CC, we have been hopelessly addicted to opiates of the endorphin variety for decades. * See the Rockbottum Blog post "Exercise, Brain Function and Depression" column and attached films dated August of 2019 for actual science talk. Endorphins, generated by the brain, are the safest, most effective mood enhancement drugs available, although there are certain corporations that would prefer you did not know that.  In the past, these companies were successful at suppressing the use

Flappin' & Honkin'

In our constant search for inner peace on the golf course, we offer this film from our Boots & Ruck division, entitled:  "Flappin' & Honkin' ". Normally, our stories from the military days are off-limits, but there was just no other way to impart this particular piece of wisdom without data-mining the trauma zone in my skull.   So lace up your boots, shoulder your rucksack and come along for some campfire coffee, philosophy . . . and a tiny little woodstove. No instant cof

The Positive/Negative GCS Ratio

The owner of Rockbottum CC, Ludella Hogwaller, AKA "Momma",  is always stressing the importance of a positive attitude, a positive work environment and presenting the golfer with a positive golf course.  She even has algae-rhythm formulas to determine if the staff is positive or negative. Momma says two negatives can make a positive.  She proved this by changing Ben, our mean and surly golf course dog, from a negative ratio into a positive.  Momma had Ben's two negatives removed and he beca

Campfire Coffee and American Cupcakes

In this short film, RW explains how not to make an American cupcake and offers up a recitation from Old Uncle Lladnar.   As weakness continues to spread across the land,  we hold to our position of strength, remaining firmly grounded in our Rockbottum Philosophy, "Read a book, not a screen." If you don't have an actual book at hand, we suggest visiting Rockbottumfilms at the link to the right.  Our current best seller is  "Lost Hound of Raven Gap" an adventure set in the mountains of N

The Four Horses' Posteriors

It's Storytime.  Once upon a time, long ago, a country club way out in the boonies--where Dad was the Pro/Supt/GM--held a combined Halloween golf tournament/debutante ball and squirrel cookout.  As Dad was usually reluctant to attend such glitzy affairs, I was instructed to represent him.  Since I wasn't old enough to drive yet, Dad left me behind to close up the pro shop and the maintenance barn--it was an actual barn--plug in the carts, clean the pool and keep an eye on things.  His exact inst

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Storytime

Rockbottum Radio: Skeletal Secrets for Great Greens... and other Turf Blasphemy

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW finally reveals all of his Skeletal Golf secrets for great greens (Bent or UD) along with the backstory explaining why they were kept secret. The Mad Golf Prophet offers up his Last Prediction ever and confesses how he knew this supply line dislocation was coming. Finally, a Halloween tale for Storytime that is too spooky, even for Rockbottum.

Buddy's Mask Experiment

In this time of turmoil and division, we offer something to bring us together:  Rockbottum Storytime. Thirty years ago, Buddy began to wonder which mask was more effective.  Was it the common dust mask?  The surgical mask?  Or perhaps the trusty bandanna?  It had nothing to do with spraying or virus prevention or looking cool, it was entirely due to Buddy's office trouble.  Located next to the crew restroom, Buddy's office was plagued with sudden waves of a malodorous stench capable of pene

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Storytime

Rockbottum Radio: Are You Ready for a Change?

In this episode, RW and the gang deliver an emergency warning about an Army Worm invasion, reveal our progress in golf course robot evaluations, discuss the big change coming in golf and explain why those folks at The Masters need a wall. In "Storytime" we tell about our favorite time on the golf course. Presented by DryJect.

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Podcast

Invasive Species

In this cerebral film on Skeletal Golf Theory, Dave Wilson reveals a new way to recruit the next wave of golfers, while other Rockbottum CC inmates pile on with their wisdoms, tips and helpful hints. Momma demonstrates her highly efficient, low cost, environmentally friendly method for dealing with Invasive Species.  

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