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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

Pearls of Rockbottum Wisdom

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, the brilliance fairly gushes forth from the inhabitants of Rockbottum, with advice, observations and rants on everything from Skeletal Golf Theory to concussions, low budget superintendent relaxation techniques, fake waterfalls, what happened when the Mayor's wife picked a fight with Momma... and why playing your own golf course is not playing golf. It's something else. Finally, beware the red-circled tree for man-relief. Presented by DryJect.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Katy Returns To Rockbottum

The Rockbottum Gang is all back together for this feature film teaser.  Katy returns from New York, Leroy is back from Colorado, Buddy comes out of retirement, Ludell looks positively awful after his first visit to a real barber and  . . . Bobbie Sue Hogwaller shows up to put everyone on edge.  Watch the trailer for "The Floating Head of Death", adapted from The Greens of Wrath, and see if you can sleep tonight.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

Rockbottum Radio: How to Improve Your BS Filter

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, presented by DryJect, Randy reveals his proven method for upgrading your BS filter. Then, Fester N. Boyle, the former green chair at Stinkin' Pond CC drops by to offer Momma some suggestions on golf maintenance. Ludell sells golf insurance and extended golf swing warranties before getting in real trouble when he joins Buddy in a special yoga class at the gym, while Randy goes on about how to use Crowd Wisdom to see the future of golf. In Storytime,
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Rockbottum Radio: It's a Wonderful Golf Life, 2019

In this holiday episode of Rockbottum Radio, among zero-environmental impact mowers and white-lightning eggnog, it's the annual Christmas dinner for the crew and a twisted attempt at caroling ("In the fairway we can build a snowman..."). Aint Feemy runs over a slow-play golfer with her cart for calling her a Boomer. And, for Storytime, RW tells about his most memorable Christmas (1977, after two seasons as an assistant superintendent), when he also discovered Clarence the angel and Mr. Potter.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Top 3 Skeletal Golf Tips Of 2019!

Check out our Top 3 Skeletal Golf Tips of the Year! #1:   Dustin Riley of Oconomowoc Golf Club in Wisconsin, is this year’s big winner.  Dustin wins the Rockbottum “Iron Skillet”* for his amazing tip on reframing tees to fit your spray rig.  (See TurfNet Forum)  Instead of just topdressing heavy or capping and leveling a tee designed and built by somebody with no GCS experience, Dustin explains how to reframe the tee to the specs needed to match your spray rig.  This is brilliant SGT thinki
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

3

Take Time Off (without taking time off)

In this short film from our "Boots & Ruck" division, we explain how you can take a mental break by practicing "Forest Bathing". *Note:  If you absolutely cannot remain clothed to Forest Bathe, we suggest you at least keep your boots on.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Rockbottum Radio: Fixing the Worst-Ever Social Credit Score

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW seeks to avoid offensive discourse by installing a special Podcast Offensive Warning Device (POWD), which emits a BS alert when anything potentially offensive is emitted. The screen-free gang at Rockbottum CC receives the worst-ever Social Credit Score, forcing Momma to retain a Social Engineering Expert -- Horton Pantslow -- to bring Rockbottum CC into the modern era. A mandatory staff meeting after lunch ensues. The first lesson of Horton's sem
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

3

UFOs Linked To Golf Courses?

Now that the US Government has admitted UFOs are real, (See The Youtube, F-18 gun camera) I feel safe in pursuing the link between UFOs and golf.  The photo below, taken two years ago on a golf course in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, by Rockbottum Dave, is unretouched.  Dave was doing his Irrigation Tech thing, when he accidentally captured a shot of a UFO.  (Is it “a” UFO or “an” UFO?)  We featured this photo in a short film, but viewers assumed it was just more of our filmic trickery and ignored it. 
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

1

Goose-icide with Buddy

Brian Nettz, the Grand Poohbah of The Mystic Order of Greenkeepers, West Coast Division, ordered us to help with the latest Goose Situation.    
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Rockbottum Radio: Who is poaching our assistants?

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW reveals who is poaching our assistants, equipment techs and crew members, while explaining how to defeat the Mole People with careful use of the TurfNet Jobs board.  In "Storytime" he tells about the time the Mole People almost got him. Also, Boof gets into it with Aint Feemy about her yoga pants, the gang provides a few tips to help determine whether your course is operating under Skeletal parameters or has just hit Rockbottum, and the Anti-Golf
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

Exercise, Brain Function and Depression

Not long ago, a group of some of the smartest folks in golf maintenance approached a powerful entity about presenting a class or a panel or a Ned Talk dealing with the mental pressures faced by the modern turf pro.  I don’t know the backstory on this, but from what I surmised from a few tweets, it was received with a negative vibe.  However, I do know that in Rockbottum CC Philosophy 201, a basic tenet states:  “Insecure folks, when presented with a great idea, will often suppress it until they
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

6

Gnomicus: Curative or Preventative?

And so it was, that in the last days of August, as the members became even more snippity and finicky and fickle, Rockbottum CC came to the rescue like . . .  Batman.  (1965 Batman, not the current Dark Knight--he's too much like a board member.) Because our mission, as it has always been, is to lighten it up and keep you from shoving a golfer’s head through the new sheetrock in the restroom on #4.    
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Rockbottum Radio: How to Get the Big Money

Rockbottum Radio is back from summer hiatus with a primer on how to get the big money as a big-time superintendent (and all the stress and pressure that goes with it). Be careful what you wish for! Randy waxes nostalgic about the days when golf course maintenance was relaxed, laid back and without the negative energy prevalent today. And in Storytime, Dad made the big time and what they learned during the short time they were there.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

Scenes From A Field Day At Rivermont

Mark Hoban, aided by Dr. Derek Settle, organized another Rivermont Field Day to update the golf world on his Low Input, Future of Golf Research.  Lots of important forward thinkers showed up, along with a couple of backward thinkers from Rockbottum Films. The rain, dark skies and humidity running at 113% prevented us from capturing the entire event, but we managed to grab a few scenes.    
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Stealth Golf Practice For The GCS

As we have previously discussed, it is important for the Golf Course Superintendent to play golf or maybe just be seen playing golf.  (But not bad golf.)  Members want to be assured that their GCS belongs to the same cult and knows the course in the same way they do—not just the way a Turf Scientist interacts with the course.   But there are problems with playing your course.  Like when the Green Chairman four-jacks #18 green and starts ranting:  “Every time I see our superintendent, he’s p
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

Our Top 13 Favorite Film Quotes Heard On The Course

During daily golf operations at Rockbottum CC, film quotes often slip into conversations with golfers, management and the crew.  It's like some odd form of verbal shorthand that delivers a message in the most minimal form. There are probably hundreds of these and we deeply regret that we had to leave out some great quotes, like "That's my stapler" and "I'm gonna have to go ahead and ask you to work this weekend" . . . but it's June and we have to keep these films short, because you have oth
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Cell Phone Policy . . . revisited

A few years back, we examined the pros and cons of crew phone use.  Since things continue to change--with phones now serving as cameras, music players and surveillance devices--we thought you might want to revisit Momma's solution for irresponsible phone use.  But be careful . . . I had an entire high school football team threaten to quit if they couldn't have a "phone break" during practice. Yeah, I know . . . get off my lawn.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

3

Did The Golf Cart Create The Modern Cupcake Golfer?

Purely apocryphal, but my Bio-RAM can recall a time when golfers weren't so picky and whiny and demanding about things that didn't matter in real life.   Although I have previously fixed the blame on color TV and 50 weekends a year of Las Vegas Showgirl grooming standards, I think I might have isolated the true cause:  The introduction of the portable sofa to what was once a rugged adventure sport. If I rewind back about 50 years, to a time when it was more about playing the game than the c
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

From The Vault: The 2nd Film From Rockbottum CC

For your entertainment, we present, from deep in the bowels of the Rockbottum Films vault, our second major production:  "Customer Service". The audio in this historic film is clippy at times, even glitchy, (it was pre-Sennheiser) but we didn't think you would mind.  After all, where else can you watch a GCS push a mean old lady golfer into a deep bunker?   You know you've been tempted to do the same thing.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

Fred & The Anti-Stress

It’s June.  Most of the tv addled golfers have forgotten April, thanks to a severely damaged attention span, one of the gifts of the modern technocracy.  But the stress merely continues to build through June and then the heat of July.  Some areas will suffer from freight-train rain, while others endure a seemingly endless hot, dry bubble of desert air.   Add in a few members just back from a member-guest with all sorts of ideas they picked up in an entirely different budget climate--or my favori
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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