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Unnecessary Roughness

Randy Wilson


The Splintered-Interest Good Parent Syndrome is squeezing golf.


In our modern world, there are so many things to do, so many activities like watching poker on TV, jumping concrete steps on a skateboard, World of Warcraft, Mixed Martial Arts, arguing on forums, and paralytic frozen immobility triggered by the increased gravitational field near any sofathat golf has lost some of the mystique and glitter that once held our game at the top of the mountain of obsessive pursuits.


out-of-control-children-fire-ext1-150x150.jpgTo further splinter things, adults raising todays children have a plethora of responsibilities that prevent abandoning the offspring at the golf course all summer.  Ive even heard the government actually threatens child confiscation for things like forcible green mowing or mandatory bunker edging.  Parents are now pressured to choose activities that blend seamlessly with approved Good Parent guidelines and golf is not on that list.


Golf has fallen way down the Good Parent approved activities list for several reasons, the first being the cost of playing every day cuts into all the other items on the list.  Next, is the time required to play golf when the schedule also dictates an entire day of child enhancing classes, sports and social interaction with other wicked little demonic... children.  The quick, 2:45 round of the 1960s and '70s has slowed to a glacial 5 hours; combined with a commute and a warmup, golf can consume 7 hours.


The pressure on golf mounts when a spouse is forced to shoulder the Good Parent burden alone.


Soccer-Mom1-150x150.jpgAs an example, let's look at my friend and regular playing partner, Albert Heckathorne.  Albert hits the course several days a week in dogged pursuit of the single digit handicap, while his wife, Liz, plays the good parent.  Liz shuttles the kids from soccer to math tutoring to piano to the orthodontist to Hapkido, every day, all while operating the household budget, planning and executing meals and the other innumerable tasks of life in the 21st Century.


Although Liz sacrifices and struggles to provide an environment of support for Albert to achieve his dream of a 9 handicap, the pressure of this lifestyle has taken a visible toll on Albert...



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