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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

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Entries in this blog

Zombie Greens

A short film about Zombie greens and the unintended consequences of one dimensional golf . . .  also contains proof that Rod Serling took over my brain when I was seven years old.   
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

You Learn Important Stuff From Working Golf

Early Saturday morning, about 0130hrs, I awoke to the scream of tires on our narrow and treacherous mountain driveway, followed by yelling and then pounding on our door.   I answered the door, wearing not much more than my headlamp, glowing red in the center of my forehead, thinking, "This is why I moved away from Atlanta."   A nervous young man stood staring into my red light, probably wondering what horror movie he had just landed in, then blurted out, "Help!  My truck is about to fall off
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

YooHoo! Paging Eric Johnson and Mike Davis!

I cannot wait to watch the US Open at Chambers Bay.  I haven't been there, but I've seen the photos and my desire to play golf there borders on lust.  (Actual golf with shaped creative shots, not the mortar-launched version of lawn darts currently living on my TV.)   The USGA is to be commended for selecting Chambers Bay.  I had completely stopped watching the US Open years ago, due to the boredom of sling-blade wedge shots out of thick, deep steel wool and fairways resembling subway tunnels.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Yes, I Hear Voices

Lately, it's gotten more difficult to write humor.  We start out funny and then for some reason, everything gets serious.  To make things worse, Buddy's wife, Esmarelda, won't let him get within six feet of me or Ludell and that makes it hard to shoot film.  But Buddy also says she won't let him within six feet of her, either. So after writing and tossing out a number of columns, radio shows and films, we were kind of discouraged . . . until Momma suggested we go into the film vault and fin
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Ydnar's Tales of Golf Course Vengeance

August's Guest Columnist is Ydnar, Randy's dark side Doppelganger with a penchant for payback.   In the olden days, before the cult of Customer Servitude came to power with their warm fuzzy fantasy seminars, customers were dealt with according to their level of honor and integrity.   Then, things changed.  A new CS doctrine emerged, born in a classroom environment, with an eye toward making money off of big corporations for social engineering training sessions.  Over-complexified and h
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Worst GCS Mistake I Ever Made

At the top of my list of golf course mistakes is one of those glaring errors that never seems to fade, but grows heavier and meaner with the passage of time.        
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

7

Workplace Therapy?

Everyone should read Paul MacCormack's "Afterglow".   It's a new direction in dealing with life on turf.   It also proves TurfNet is still the leader in adaptive metaphysical approaches--and just plain leading from the front.  Great minds like Peter McCormick, Dave Wilber and the big names who gathered with Paul MacCormack at the Mindful Leadership and Wellness Retreat have been pushing us in this direction for years.  But way out front, so far ahead that they got a little behind-
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

Why We Quit Using Soil Thermometers

Buddy, the owner of more formal turf education than anyone else at Rockbottum CC, used to handle all our science stuff, testing for micro-nubial bacteriums, fematoads and soil temps in spring.     Buddy has royal golf lineage, because he matriculated (allegedly) under the legendary Palmer Maples for several quarters at Gwinnett Tech.  Things went well for years, until one day, I got this feeling that . . . maybe Buddy had hornswoggled us with a fake academic history.   It wasn't the incompre
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Why Are You Doing This?

Do you remember the real reason you got into the golf course business? I frequently ask that question and the answers can range from positive outbursts of Pavlovian Pollyanna-isms to covert confessions of discomfiture.  “I don’t know”, is usually followed by nervous laughter.  The recently graduated will go into interrogation mode, searching for the “correct” answer, as if their career is at stake.  A few admit it was to play more golf, while others claim it was the appeal of the science. 
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

7

Who Makes the Purchase Decisions?

An interesting topic popped up on the TurfNet Forum the other day, asking if club managers have more influence on purchasing decisions now than in past years.  I gave it several seconds of deep thought and answered Yes, but only in my mind, primarily because Im not intellectually equipped to debate TurfNetters with years of post-graduate work.  (My post-grad work at Fort Bragg was limited to a short thesis entitled Why You Shouldnt Throw a Grenade up a Staircase -- the effects of the lab experim
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Who Makes the Purchase Decisions?

An interesting topic popped up on the TurfNet Forum the other day, asking if club managers have more influence on purchasing decisions now than in past years.  I gave it several seconds of deep thought and answered “Yes”, but only in my mind, primarily because I’m not intellectually equipped to debate TurfNetters with years of post-graduate work.  (My post-grad work at Fort Bragg was limited to a short thesis entitled “Why You Shouldn’t Throw a Grenade up a Staircase”–the effects of the lab expe
Guest

Guest

0

Where Are They Now?

Find out where Tiffany, Bodell and the other inhabitants of Rockbottum CC are today.   Watch this short film and learn the truth!  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

5

When The Police Show Up . . .

1969, Southwest of Fresno:  It was nearing midnight on a chilly Friday in October, when an old school bus rattled into the driveway of the Polvadero Country Club, a nine holer out in the middle of the nowhere known as Kettleman Hills.  The bus was loaded with high school football players being delivered home after an away game in Kerman.  Fernando the driver was skillfully circling the empty clubhouse parking lot when his headlights swept across a woman standing alone, holding a shotgun at port
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0
Rockbottum Philosophy

When That Day Comes

There are subtle clues that surface when one is nearing a career shift or even retirement phase.  These clues, often manifested by certain actions or statements normally suppressed during peak career, can become visible during what Rockbottum CC scholars call "Too Much Time In The Saddle".  Here are a few examples*, along with a short training film, circa 2016. Fester N. Boyle, Green Chairman, approaches while you are hastily repairing a giant irrigation break and says, "Willy, you're almos

When Howling Mad Golfers Tried To Kill Me*

Have you ever found yourself fleeing through a heavily forested golf course at midnight, pursued by a mob of enraged golfers with guns?   It was the summer of '71.  Burnt Run CC (not the actual name) was a small town southern pseudo-country club inhabited mostly by good people, poor golfers, and rural socialites.  On one fateful night, something terrifying took place and the result was Dad's forcible abdication from his role as Burnt Run Pro/GCS/GM/F&B and Recreation Director.   Prior to
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

When Fudgie Got Mr. Riffington

In 1959, while still a toddler, I was forcibly indoctrinated into the cult of golf.  Handed a plastic 3-wood, I was taught a series of carved-in-stone golf truths that had to be committed to memory and recited like the multiplication tables.  First, was Play Fast!  Next, I was to always stay out of the backswing zone of big women, because they could knock your teeth out.  (Learned that one the hard way.)  I also learned that a plastic 3-wood was particularly suited to killing chickens. In a
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

7

Wheat Belly vs The Walmartians

Rockbottum University has been studying Wheat Belly for months now and we are prepared to release our premature findings.  The primary researcher/test subject, (me) is a gifted dietary adjustment genius with heavy experience in food crazes, exercise addiction and nutrition conspiracies.    I inherited this disorder from my dad, Norm, a former paratrooper/golf pro/CGCS with a maniacal fixation on diets, vitamins and health supplements dating back to 1964.  Our family regimen involved ingestio
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0
Storytime

What's In There Sober, Comes Out Drunk

Alcohol is a poison that has used modern advertising to positively associate itself with sports, romance, business and even fitness.  We are encouraged to drink and cheer on our favorite athletes, to yell at screens, to use beer as a post-workout supplement and we are told that romance is enhanced by bubbly alcohol . . . when the opposite is true.  Successful business meeting planners rely heavily on the 90 proof lubricant. Alcohol is commonly self-prescribed for timidity, fear, unhappiness
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Storytime

2

What Time Is It? It's Irrigation Time!

Here is a remastered version of "The Rapid Deployment Irrigation Vehicle", a short training film guaranteed to help you get ready for summer.   This film stars Buddy, Dave, RW and several billion cicadas.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

What The Great Atlanta Ice Storm of '73 Taught Me About Golf

It was 45 years ago today that we entered the biggest and baddest of Atlanta's winter storms, The Great Ice Storm of '73.  With little warning, icy rain fell for hours and then froze like clear steel on Atlanta's trees, roads and power lines.  Big pines began to crash down on houses, splintering utility poles and blocking roads.  Transformers exploded like incoming artillery and lit up the Atlanta night with freakish blue arcs of hot light.  Everything went dark.  Black ice covered sidewalks, st
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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