Innie or Outie?
Entry posted by Paul MacCormack
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A couple weeks back our intrepid Maestro penned a thoughtful piece (Information overload and sensory flashbacks...). It was full of a lot of the wisdom and down home honesty that we have come to expect from Peter, but for me, it was also interesting to read between the lines a little.
I have been picking at a fascinating book called The Introvert Advantage, Making the Most of Your Hidden Strengths, by Marti Olsen Laney, Phy.D. The basic premise of the book is that once those who crave solitude recognize that they are actually introverted by nature, they can structure their lives accordingly. She states that 1 in 3 people fall towards the introverted end of the personality spectrum and that living in an extroverted world can be a real struggle.I initially got the book for my wife, Jill. She is a thoughtful, sensitive, compassionate, wonderful woman. She is also incredibly introverted and finds day to day operations in our busy world difficult. She has lived her whole life feeling somehow deficient because she does not enjoy parties, concerts, and the overall business of life. Until very recently she constantly chastised herself for running out of gas and needing more down time than the average bear. Turns out she was simply not living her life according to what her nature required: more solitude and more quiet time.
So when I read Peter's piece on the value of solitude when it comes to creativity, I could not help but draw analogies to this book. Ms. Olsen Laney spoke of the basic need of introverted people to be alone and quiet to not only recharge their personal batteries, but to tap into their creative side. Solitude is seen as not only as a positive, but absolutely necessary part of an introverts daily routine.
...the basic need of introverted people to be alone and quiet to not only recharge their personal batteries, but to tap into their creative side."
The other major insight from the book is that being either somewhat or completely introverted is not a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with you, nothing at all. We live in a world that tells us that multitasking is the norm, that being the life of the party is the bomb, and that we all need to be able to deliver a presidential address on cue. The truth is most of us can't do those things, and that's okay. It's good for people to push boundaries occasionally, but if you are not equipped for full time extroversion you can still be a very productive member of society.
Here are a few myths from the book about introverted people:
Myth #1: Introverts don't like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don't talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get introverts talking about something they are interested in, and they won't shut up for days.
Myth #2: Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don't interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don't worry about being polite.
Myth #3: Introverts don't like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don't like to go out in public for as long as extroverts. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don't need to be there for long to get it. They're ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #4: Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don't have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #5: Introverts don't know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neural pathways. Just look it up.
Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neural pathways. Just look it up."
So if you find that some of the qualities listed here fit your personality, don't sweat it. Embrace it. Figure out the best way to live your life in a way that maximizes not only your enjoyment but your personal health. If it takes some solitude and quiet time to recharge you batteries, than make that a priority in your day. Like the wise Maestro says, "I do my best thinking on a mower, in the shower, on long trips in the car, or when asleep." So clean yourself up, take the long way to the golf course, and mow a few fairways...but try not to nod off.
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