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Matt Crowther's Fantasy Vacation at Rockbottum CC

Randy Wilson


Matt Crowther, CGCS, a TurfNetter of great power, prestige and influence, took a recent vacation to Rockbottum CC.


Matt not only discovered how to relieve the stress from a tough summer, he also gained valuable insights into southern golf operations, skeletal greenkeeping and the meaning of life.


Oh, and he left without his luggage, so if anybody knows his whereabouts, let us know--he won't answer our calls.


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Dear Mr Wilson,


It took Juan and Jose almost 20 min to scrape the two giant mouth eruptions of iced mocha from my windshield. This is because of you.


The first spenching occurred when you chanted Baba Booey over the John Deere mower. Too funny, although I'm told only Orange equipment responds to this.


The second blasting came when you invited Supers to Rockbottum and qualified the invitation by the non-need of letters behind names.


In the 102 degree California heat. The spewage coated the inside of the windshield and cooked like a Walter White signature chrystal. Removal happened only when enough Tapatio sauce was applied to break the alkyd bond of Starbucks secret coffee, chocolate and Kevin Ross Spit. Aweful.


I want to thank you, but the bill for Spenchling Projectile Laughter is going to be about $32 bucks, 2 cases of Negro Modello and a new latch for the roof of the Taco Truck that we had to call to feed everyone and pump the Tapatio.


Thank you,



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Send the bill to Matt Crowther and Jon Kiger, as the "letters" segment was their work.


Send any remaining cleaning bill to Dave Wilber, His Ownself, for writing the "Baba Booey" scene.

Rockbottum is a collaborative effort and all of you share the blame.

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Dave and Randy - Dave needs to take it up with Starbucks. They warned you about how hot coffee could be on the cup, but I doubt they warned you about how hard it is to remove their drink from a windshield.



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