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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

The 100 Days of Hell

Actually, it’s more like 120 days for those of us trapped on a bentgrass plantation in Georgia, but that sounded like too long a period to survive, so we stuck with 100 days. In the olden times, in order to keep the wilt-watchers, the irrigation tech and our ownselves from going completely raging berserk at the thought of four months of endless heat, my brother Mike devised a brilliant survival tactic. Reasoning that part of the problem was mental–a psycho-traumatic condition aggravated by ba
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The 100 Days of Hell

Actually, its more like 120 days for those of us trapped on a bentgrass plantation in Georgia, but that sounded like too long a period to survive, so we stuck with 100 days.   In the olden times, in order to keep the wilt-watchers, the irrigation tech and our ownselves from going completely raging berserk at the thought of four months of endless heat, my brother Mike devised a brilliant survival tactic. berserk at the thought of four months of endless heat . . . Reasoning that part of the
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Our Most Valuable Tip/Trick and Secret

Success in any endeavor usually happens when talent, timing, motivation and knowledge are combined, producing positive results that draw positive attention. While I may have been deficient in talent, timing and motivation, I did understand the part knowledge played in successful golf course management. I could research something to death. If I couldn’t find the answer, I contacted people in the golf industry who did know the answer; I tested, experimented and slowly gathered several notebooks
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Our Most Valuable Tip/Trick and Secret

Success in any endeavor usually happens when talent, timing, motivation and knowledge are combined, producing positive results that draw positive attention.   While I may have been deficient in talent, timing and motivation, I did understand the part knowledge played in successful golf course management. I could research something to death. If I couldnt find the answer, I contacted people in the golf industry who did know the answer; I tested, experimented and slowly gathered several note
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Don Mahaffey Should Write a Book

He could call it “The Teachings of Don . . .” No, that Carlos Castaneda fellow already used that one.  Perhaps Don already has a title ready, one that will get across his message of common sense practical golf course maintenance strategies that result in lower overall costs yet still improve playability. Everything I write seems to drift toward Hunter S. Thompson visits Golf in the Kingdom with Moe, Larry, Curly and Ludell on Halloween–with chainsaws . . . and guns.  It’s not often we ventur
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Don Mahaffey Should Write a Book

He could call it The Teachings of Don . . . No, that Carlos Castaneda fellow already used that one.  Perhaps Don already has a title ready, one that will get across his message of common sense practical golf course maintenance strategies that result in lower overall costs yet still improve playability. I'd offer to help Don with the book, except his message might get twisted. Everything I write seems to drift toward Hunter S. Thompson visits Golf in the Kingdom with Moe, Larry, Curly and Lu
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Storytime

I Was a Teenage Night Waterman

It was in California, 1968, during the peak of the Viet Nam war protests, that I first heard the mystical rhythmic pulse of a big impact sprinkler calling my name, luring me into a career of nocturnal irrigationism.  If only I had known that the glorious era of the Night Waterman was almost over. After several years in in the cold, wet mountains of Bavaria, we arrived in the sunny San Joaquin Valley where Dad took a job at Sunnyside, an exclusive country club. At Sunnyside, I was allow
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Storytime

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I Was a Teenage Night Waterman

It was in California, 1968, during the peak of the Viet Nam war protests, that I first heard the mystical rhythmic pulse of a big impact sprinkler calling my name, luring me into a career of nocturnal irrigationism.  If only I had known that the glorious era of the Night Waterman was almost over.   After several years in in the cold, wet mountains of Bavaria, we arrived in the sunny San Joaquin Valley where Dad took a job at Sunnyside, an exclusive country club.   At Sunnyside, I was allow
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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My Top 2 Tactics To Improve GCS/Clubhouse Relations

As a survivor of several particularly vicious maintenance vs clubhouse feuds, I want to stress one thing: That’s why the GCS should strive to create a productive working relationship with the clubhouse, except for F&B; they usually only respond to swift and forceful punishment. Although I never used one, the GCS Blog has become my favorite tactic for insuring a strong relationship between clubhouse and maintenance operations.  Chris Tritabaugh of Northland CC is a master of blog technique
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My Top 2 Tactics To Improve GCS/Clubhouse Relations

As a survivor of several particularly vicious maintenance vs clubhouse feuds, I want to stress one thing: Nobody ever wins a fight.   Thats why the GCS should strive to create a productive working relationship with the clubhouse, except for F&B; they usually only respond to swift and forceful punishment.   Although I never used one, the GCS Blog has become my favorite tactic for insuring a strong relationship between clubhouse and maintenance operations.  Chris Tritabaugh of Northland CC
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Prepare for Golf Car Control of The Future

The golf car is not going away.  The portable sofa is now inextricably linked to golf as our primary source of revenue; golf cars also provide young people with their only connection to golf through youtube fail videos. Therefore, the GCS, the true heart of the golf industry, must search out and utilize newer, more effective ways to control the four-wheeled demon of the fairways, driven by those who believe the golf course is merely a theme park with unrestrained electric versions of Kowalski
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Prepare for Golf Car Control of The Future

The golf car is not going away.  The portable sofa is now inextricably linked to golf as our primary source of revenue; golf cars also provide young people with their only connection to golf through youtube fail videos.   Therefore, the GCS, the true heart of the golf industry, must search out and utilize newer, more effective ways to control the four-wheeled demon of the fairways, driven by those who believe the golf course is merely a theme park with unrestrained electric versions of Kowalsk
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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What Architecture Type is Your Golf Course?

Do you understand golf course architecture? A few years back, Ted, a GCS friend of mine, became entangled in a dispute between club members.  It all started when a green committee member discovered the dark art of classic golf architecture by reading Brad Klein, Geoff Shackelford and Tom Doak and began to lord his superior knowledge over fellow committee members, the starter and the kitchen staff. Following the pattern of a typical social struggle, the members without architecture knowledge be
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What Architecture Type is Your Golf Course?

Do you understand golf course architecture?   A few years back, Ted, a GCS friend of mine, became entangled in a dispute between club members.  It all started when a green committee member discovered the dark art of classic golf architecture by reading Brad Klein, Geoff Shackelford and Tom Doak and began to lord his superior knowledge over fellow committee members, the starter and the kitchen staff.   Following the pattern of a typical social struggle, the members without architecture knowle
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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The Great Vegan Experiment

Here at the Rock, our long awaited VFCO (Vegan-Frootarian-Carnivorian-Omnivorsk) research findings are finally ready for publication.  A little less than one year ago, our team of Rockbottum scientists set out to solve one of the most serious problems facing the modern GCS: What to eat? In any high-stress occupation, food plays an important role in long-term health, career adaptability and survival odds in the midst of an onslaught of Darwinian selection trials.  Poor food choices plague the A
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The Great Vegan Experiment

Here at the Rock, our long awaited VFCO (Vegan-Frootarian-Carnivorian-Omnivorsk) research findings are finally ready for publication.  A little less than one year ago, our team of Rockbottum scientists set out to solve one of the most serious problems facing the modern GCS:  What to eat?   In any high-stress occupation, food plays an important role in long-term health, career adaptability and survival odds in the midst of an onslaught of Darwinian selection trials.  Poor food choices plague th
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Do You Feel Cheated by the Masters TV Coverage?

I do.  Televised golf is supposed to be 20 minutes per hour of election dysfunction commercials where folks sit in tubs and watch sunsets, 30 minutes of putting and putt stalking, two minutes of interviews with sponsor CEOs and the remaining 11 minutes devoted to at least two tear-jerking human interest stories. The Masters mind control experts have once more, ripped the tried and true programming strategy apart and forced us to watch more golf. I hate to complain, but in the last two days of
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Do You Feel Cheated by the Masters TV Coverage?

I do.  Televised golf is supposed to be 20 minutes per hour of election dysfunction commercials where folks sit in tubs and watch sunsets, 30 minutes of putting and putt stalking, two minutes of interviews with sponsor CEOs and the remaining 11 minutes devoted to at least two tear-jerking human interest stories.   The Masters mind control experts have once more, ripped the tried and true programming strategy apart and forced us to watch more golf.   They claim theyre giving us four minutes o
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Post Masters Syndrome

How to diagnose, treat and possibly cure the most dangerous early season golf disorder. Diagnosis:  The initial outbreak of Post Masters Syndrome typically begins within minutes of final round completion.  First indications usually involve golfers of several levels–from muni to mid-level country club–verbalizing in pitiful, whiny voices, “Why can’t we do that?” Tests for azalea poisoning and overseed overdose will normally read very high on the scale; additionally, the golfer/member’s listenin
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Post Masters Syndrome

How to diagnose, treat and possibly cure the most dangerous early season golf disorder.   Diagnosis:  The initial outbreak of Post Masters Syndrome typically begins within minutes of final round completion.    First indications usually involve golfers of several levelsfrom muni to mid-level country clubverbalizing in pitiful, whiny voices, Why cant we do that?   Tests for azalea poisoning and overseed overdose will normally read very high on the scale; additionally, the golfer/members list
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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What Do Golfers Want?

After decades of watching golfers, I think I know what normal golfers want:  Affordable golf within a reasonable time limit, smooth greens, and wide fairways.  They want a digestible sandwich at the turn, friendly folks behind the pro shop counter and a warning, prior to purchasing the green fee, that the course is littered with 97 big bunkers and the rough is at US Open height due to a green committee with a TV golf fixation. As to those “other” golfers, the abnormal, the spoiled, the pampered
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What Do Golfers Want?

After decades of watching golfers, I think I know what normal golfers want:  Affordable golf within a reasonable time limit, smooth greens, and wide fairways.   They want a digestible sandwich at the turn, friendly folks behind the pro shop counter and a warning, prior to purchasing the green fee, that the course is littered with 97 big bunkers and the rough is at US Open height due to a green committee with a TV golf fixation.   As to those other golfers, the abnormal, the spoiled, the pam
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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My Secret Golf Nickname (and how it came to be)

It’s Storytime at Rockbottum CC. During a recent session with Rockbottum Behavior Modification Therapist Dr. Ludell Hogwaller, I experienced a monumental breakthrough.  Using his special donut-hypnosis, he uncovered a long buried childhood memory that finally revealed just how I acquired my secret golf nickname–and why I have an unnatural fear of fish, fishing and fishermen. It all began in ’63, when the US Army assigned Dad–or Cap’n Ahab as I called him–to teach ROTC and coach the rifle team
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My Secret Golf Nickname (and how it came to be)

Its Storytime at Rockbottum CC.   During a recent session with Rockbottum Behavior Modification Therapist Dr. Ludell Hogwaller, I experienced a monumental breakthrough.  Using his special donut-hypnosis, he uncovered a long buried childhood memory that finally revealed just how I acquired my secret golf nicknameand why I have an unnatural fear of fish, fishing and fishermen.   It all began in 63, when the US Army assigned Dador Capn Ahab as I called himto teach ROTC and coach the rifle team
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Are You Ready For The Water Wars?

As one of the last of the Night Watermen, I have always had a special relationship with water and golf. In fact, to this day, I continue to think of myself as an “irrigation guy” forced by extreme circumstances to serve as a GCS. I get along well with water. I can’t swim in it, due to a genetic predisposition toward sinking, but it’s pretty much all I drink and it does amazingly well as medicine for stomach ailments, dehydration issues and Friday night mistakes. Turf likes water and interestingl
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