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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

Random Bursts of Rockbottum Logic

While it is easy for the international Golf Course Superintendent Community to get the wrong impression of Rockbottum CC, we strive to present an accurate image of our golf course, our personnel and our philosophy of golf course operations.   Our reputation as Ivy League intellectuals dabbling in daily fee golf merely to produce entertainment is a fallacy.  We are not just producing entertainment.   We are a literal treasure trove of brilliant minds, a conflagration of golf philosophers, sav
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

Digital or Vinyl? Frigid or Warm?

Ludell Hogwaller is this week's guest commentator.   When a skirmish breaks out like the one on the TurfNet Forum concerning the audio validity of analogic vinyl music in relations with digitized recorded media, I have to jump in with both achilles heels.   I can easily comprehend folks falsely claiming that friction driven gang mowers are obsolete or debating as to whether the Night Waterman will ever be a viable career, but I cannot sit idly by and listen to vinyl music suffer slander at t
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

5

Does Shade Tolerant Bermuda Exist?

As a GCS, I dealt with many of the same challenges that the modern superintendent handles on a daily basis:  Disease pressure, irrigation breaks on Friday afternoon, other courses stealing my equipment tech and members suffering from Augusta Syndrome well into October.   But the one thing that beat me was shade.   I could grow bent in the shade, and fescue and St. Augustine and Centipede, but I was never able to grow good bermuda in shade.  I removed a great deal of golf course shade, often
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Fixin' Golf--Tactic #22: SPEEDY GOLF

Walter Hayduke, the newly elected Green Chair at Rockbottum CC, returned from the TurfNet Bandon Dunes Trip, convinced he had witnessed the future of golf.   Walter was so enthused by what he saw at Bandon, he became a Speedy Golf Evangelist and rewrote the Rules of Golf and the Rockbottum CC Employee handbook on the bus ride home.   Speedy Golf is now mandatory for all Rockbottum employees and Ludell was forced to produce the following training video explaining how golf can now be properly
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Rockbottum News Headlines: Stop Ash Boring!

In this week's news show, the Rockbottum CC expert news analysts have issued a warning for Ash Borers and golf management company CEOs with quirky ideas:   Stop.   Buddy returns, we put forth a Rockbottum Apology for twisting important name pronunciation and also included in this week's segment . . .   The Brilliantest TurfNet Forum Quote of the Week and another gem from SuperProblems on Twitter.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

October News, Tips and Email

Even though Buddy disappeared while on Night Waterman duty* and hasn't been seen in weeks, Rockbottum CC remains on top of the looming water issue with news and irrigation tips.   *Note:  Our upcoming Halloween segment will reveal what happened to Buddy in lurid detail.    
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

5

The Rockbottum News Show

In an attempt to comply with viewer demand, Rockbottum CC will now produce an occasional news show, full of timely information and serious analysis.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Matt Crowther's Fantasy Vacation at Rockbottum CC

Matt Crowther, CGCS, a TurfNetter of great power, prestige and influence, took a recent vacation to Rockbottum CC.   Matt not only discovered how to relieve the stress from a tough summer, he also gained valuable insights into southern golf operations, skeletal greenkeeping and the meaning of life.   Oh, and he left without his luggage, so if anybody knows his whereabouts, let us know--he won't answer our calls.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

5

Firmnicity

Firmnicity is the science of measuring firmness in order to attain a number that allows the golfer to compare his firmness against others.   This is not a new science, it has been used to assess baseball fields, mattresses, surgical augmentation and a quality of life somehow related to sitting in separate bathtubs while watching a sunset.   Be careful with the numbers in this area.  As is the case in DeathMeter stats, the golfer may demand a particular number, but not actually want to play t
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Things That Chap My Hide

Although the inhabitants of Rockbottum seethe with cool sophistication and exude an urbane, erudite image, we have our less genteel side.   We must confess, there are things in golf that irritate us.    We thought it would be good to cathartize exacerbate exorcise ourselves and get a few of these things off our chest.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

A Big Huge Announcement From Rockbottum CC

It's almost Autumn.  My career as a "Bad Golf Course Fixer" would not have been possible without the existence of Homelite, Jonsered, Sachs-Dolmar, several Husky 268s . . . and Autumn.   In late summer, I always had a tendency to dance around like a madman released early from the asylum, in anticipation of the real work:  Surgical removal of turf-strangling, golf-suppressing large woody vertical golf hazards.   Success in this area requires preparation, before the leaves fall.  Covert markin
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

BucketBall

One of the advantages of having Multiple Personality Disorder is the ability to look at things from different angles.  Currently, the "Mad Golf Prophet" has control and he just won't shut up about the potential weather extremes.   In order to survive weather patterns that go on and on and on, the "Mad Golf Prophet" recommends indoor activities for the crew.  These may include sanding, painting and 'helping' the equipment manager.   Not all of these activities should be work related.  When ca
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Our Balls Aren't Fun Anymore

In the final attempt to 'Fix Golf' before we grow it, the most important message to ever emerge from Rockbottum CC is presented in the following Commentary . . . Rant . . . Wild-Eyed Tirade.   Unlike most offerings from Rockbottum, this message is not a subliminal point wrapped in diversionary goofiness, this is serious material.   Although the script for 'Our Balls' has been ready for months, we waited until after The PGA Championship to release it.  The reason:  While the tournament was an
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

The Green Chairman's Horse

Based on a true story pulled from the 'Greenkeeper Tales' collection, Rockbottum CC Television presents a film packed with drama, intrigue and embarrassing Southern family lore.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

URGENT MESSAGE FOR ADAM HERTZOG AT GOLF CHANNEL!

The following Rockbottum CC Commentary contains an URGENT MESSAGE for Adam Hertzog, the producer who recently escaped from ESPN and has now been ordained as a VP at The Golf Channel.    Okay, maybe it's not really all that urgent, but it does include a suggestion that will help us all . . . or maybe just those of us who watch golf on TV.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

The Secret of The Twiffer

Once upon a time, there was a strangeness that crept into golf course land.     No, this isn't the story about the olden times when the club pro was paid more than the GCS, that wasn't strange, that was just crazy.   This particular strangeness happened not long ago and somebody at Rockbottum CC might have been neck-deep in the whole mess . . .    Watch this short film if you want to understand The Twiffer.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

A Typical Day At Rockbottum CC

Can you you handle the pressure of managing a golf course through a difficult summer?  Learn how it's done from hardened veterans of several decades of Deep South summer campaigns.   At Rockbottum Country Club, we know precisely when to go deep and infrequent, because we learned the concept on pushup clay bent in temps of 100+, while experts with no actual GCS experience told us to dry 'em out.   "...because we learned the concept on pushup clay bent in temps of 100+, while experts with no
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Study Reveals Top Role in Golf Biz

A recent study, published in Golf Digest, reveals the most important individual in the world of golf.   Watch the following Rockbottum CC Commentary to find out what it said without the bothersome task of reading the study.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

The Armored Possum

Most golf maintenance training videos are so dull they can cure incurable insomnia, but Here At The Rock, we strive to produce cerebral training films.   Rather than just handing out the information, our technique requires the viewer to think, to search for subliminal clues hidden in what would seem to be an ordinary conversation.   See if you can find the Two Teaching Points of this Rockbottum CC Training Film:   1.  How to help your Equipment Manager/Tech win TurfNet's TECH OF THE YEAR.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

The DeathMeter

Prompted by several very intelligent Stimpmeter comments on the TurfNet Forum, the following RockBottum Country Club VLOG sheds light on a possible strategy to suppress the spread of the POS. (Privately Owned Stimpmeter)   NOTE:  It was necessary to credit The TurfNet Forum, as very few intelligent comments ever originate from Rockbottum Country Club, especially where the POS is concerned.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

The Forbidden VinylGuard Experiment

Last week, Rockbottum Research Labs achieved a major breakthrough in the field of Protective First Layer Garments, or PFLG.   We have been under intense pressure to release our findings, regardless of the fact that our data analysis is incomplete.   We were prepared to publish our findings regarding our innovative work with the miracle element known as VinylGuard, until we became aware of a mysterious scientific anomaly while reviewing the video used for documenting the experiment.   As a
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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