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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

October News, Tips and Email

Even though Buddy disappeared while on Night Waterman duty* and hasn't been seen in weeks, Rockbottum CC remains on top of the looming water issue with news and irrigation tips.   *Note:  Our upcoming Halloween segment will reveal what happened to Buddy in lurid detail.    

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

The Rockbottum News Show

In an attempt to comply with viewer demand, Rockbottum CC will now produce an occasional news show, full of timely information and serious analysis.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Matt Crowther's Fantasy Vacation at Rockbottum CC

Matt Crowther, CGCS, a TurfNetter of great power, prestige and influence, took a recent vacation to Rockbottum CC.   Matt not only discovered how to relieve the stress from a tough summer, he also gained valuable insights into southern golf operations, skeletal greenkeeping and the meaning of life.   Oh, and he left without his luggage, so if anybody knows his whereabouts, let us know--he won't answer our calls.

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Firmnicity

Firmnicity is the science of measuring firmness in order to attain a number that allows the golfer to compare his firmness against others.   This is not a new science, it has been used to assess baseball fields, mattresses, surgical augmentation and a quality of life somehow related to sitting in separate bathtubs while watching a sunset.   Be careful with the numbers in this area.  As is the case in DeathMeter stats, the golfer may demand a particular number, but not actually want to play t

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Things That Chap My Hide

Although the inhabitants of Rockbottum seethe with cool sophistication and exude an urbane, erudite image, we have our less genteel side.   We must confess, there are things in golf that irritate us.    We thought it would be good to cathartize exacerbate exorcise ourselves and get a few of these things off our chest.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

A Big Huge Announcement From Rockbottum CC

It's almost Autumn.  My career as a "Bad Golf Course Fixer" would not have been possible without the existence of Homelite, Jonsered, Sachs-Dolmar, several Husky 268s . . . and Autumn.   In late summer, I always had a tendency to dance around like a madman released early from the asylum, in anticipation of the real work:  Surgical removal of turf-strangling, golf-suppressing large woody vertical golf hazards.   Success in this area requires preparation, before the leaves fall.  Covert markin

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

BucketBall

One of the advantages of having Multiple Personality Disorder is the ability to look at things from different angles.  Currently, the "Mad Golf Prophet" has control and he just won't shut up about the potential weather extremes.   In order to survive weather patterns that go on and on and on, the "Mad Golf Prophet" recommends indoor activities for the crew.  These may include sanding, painting and 'helping' the equipment manager.   Not all of these activities should be work related.  When ca

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Our Balls Aren't Fun Anymore

In the final attempt to 'Fix Golf' before we grow it, the most important message to ever emerge from Rockbottum CC is presented in the following Commentary . . . Rant . . . Wild-Eyed Tirade.   Unlike most offerings from Rockbottum, this message is not a subliminal point wrapped in diversionary goofiness, this is serious material.   Although the script for 'Our Balls' has been ready for months, we waited until after The PGA Championship to release it.  The reason:  While the tournament was an

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

The Green Chairman's Horse

Based on a true story pulled from the 'Greenkeeper Tales' collection, Rockbottum CC Television presents a film packed with drama, intrigue and embarrassing Southern family lore.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

URGENT MESSAGE FOR ADAM HERTZOG AT GOLF CHANNEL!

The following Rockbottum CC Commentary contains an URGENT MESSAGE for Adam Hertzog, the producer who recently escaped from ESPN and has now been ordained as a VP at The Golf Channel.    Okay, maybe it's not really all that urgent, but it does include a suggestion that will help us all . . . or maybe just those of us who watch golf on TV.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

The Secret of The Twiffer

Once upon a time, there was a strangeness that crept into golf course land.     No, this isn't the story about the olden times when the club pro was paid more than the GCS, that wasn't strange, that was just crazy.   This particular strangeness happened not long ago and somebody at Rockbottum CC might have been neck-deep in the whole mess . . .    Watch this short film if you want to understand The Twiffer.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

A Typical Day At Rockbottum CC

Can you you handle the pressure of managing a golf course through a difficult summer?  Learn how it's done from hardened veterans of several decades of Deep South summer campaigns.   At Rockbottum Country Club, we know precisely when to go deep and infrequent, because we learned the concept on pushup clay bent in temps of 100+, while experts with no actual GCS experience told us to dry 'em out.   "...because we learned the concept on pushup clay bent in temps of 100+, while experts with no

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Study Reveals Top Role in Golf Biz

A recent study, published in Golf Digest, reveals the most important individual in the world of golf.   Watch the following Rockbottum CC Commentary to find out what it said without the bothersome task of reading the study.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

The Armored Possum

Most golf maintenance training videos are so dull they can cure incurable insomnia, but Here At The Rock, we strive to produce cerebral training films.   Rather than just handing out the information, our technique requires the viewer to think, to search for subliminal clues hidden in what would seem to be an ordinary conversation.   See if you can find the Two Teaching Points of this Rockbottum CC Training Film:   1.  How to help your Equipment Manager/Tech win TurfNet's TECH OF THE YEAR.

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

The DeathMeter

Prompted by several very intelligent Stimpmeter comments on the TurfNet Forum, the following RockBottum Country Club VLOG sheds light on a possible strategy to suppress the spread of the POS. (Privately Owned Stimpmeter)   NOTE:  It was necessary to credit The TurfNet Forum, as very few intelligent comments ever originate from Rockbottum Country Club, especially where the POS is concerned.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

The Forbidden VinylGuard Experiment

Last week, Rockbottum Research Labs achieved a major breakthrough in the field of Protective First Layer Garments, or PFLG.   We have been under intense pressure to release our findings, regardless of the fact that our data analysis is incomplete.   We were prepared to publish our findings regarding our innovative work with the miracle element known as VinylGuard, until we became aware of a mysterious scientific anomaly while reviewing the video used for documenting the experiment.   As a

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Given Any Thought To Career Change?

If changing careers or early retirement has crossed your mind lately, perhaps you should take a look at the Top 3 Post-Golf Course Superintendent Careers as listed by Rockbottum Country Club TV.   NOTE:  Here At The Rock, our definition of "early retirement" means quitting work any time prior to being frog-marched off the golf course at gunpoint.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Fixin' Golf Point #7: Bring The Excitement Back

My relationship with golf goes back to 1958, when as a toddler, I walked into Auntie Grizz's vicious backswing and broke a jaw tooth in half.   There was no permanent damage, yet Auntie was devastated by the amount of blood.  Things looked bad at first, but after I managed to scrub the blood off and remove those little fragments of tooth, her beloved Louise Suggs 2-wood wasn't even scratched.   Golf in '58 was exciting for me, what with all the blood and running and screaming and Arnie and H

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Golf Course Priorities

Do you have your Golf Course Priorities in order?     Which comes first, the golf course, your career, your family or fishing while drinking high quality beer?  Or do all those factors intersect in your life like a complex trig equation?   Do you put agronomics in front of economics?   Are you as confused as we are?   If so, watch carefully as Buddy explains . . . something, we're just not sure what.  

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

The Two Types of Green Speeds

In Point 6 of The Rockbottum CC Plan To Fix Golf, (yes, I know we skipped Point 5, but it's taking a long time to complete) Buddy explains the Two Types of Green Speeds.   Type One is the measured speed of ball roll.     Type Two is the speed of the green's playability.     Some of the fastest greens have the slowest Type Two readings, due to the dreaded Ping-Pong Effect, Downhill Yip Syndrome and *Reduced Cup-ability.    *NOTE:  During periods of increased green speeds for member tourna

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

Golf Course Patrol

Golf has changed.  The ball is different.  It stays in the air much longer than ever before.  Grooming standards have changed.  Golfer expectations have changed.   The golfer's equipment is highly advanced, as is the equipment used to prepare the course for play.   The game is infuriatingly slow now.  In the time we once played 36 holes, it's a struggle to get in 18.   Perhaps the one area that hasn't changed is in the way we interact with golfers on the course--maybe that's the weak link.

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

The Charged Particle Beam Spray Rig

Inspired by John Reitman's article in TurfNetSports News about the miniZapr -- a lightwave frequency device -- Buddy isolated himself in his secret laboratory for over an hour to perfect  the Charged Particle Beam Spray Rig.   While the miniZapr is designed to kill mold, viruses and bacteria on athletic fields and locker room surfaces, the CPBSR, according to Buddy, kills moles, viruses and both forms of bacteria, the bad stuff and the mythical "good" bacteria.   Buddy is quick to point out

Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson


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