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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

Rockbottum Philosophy

Get The Happy Prescription

At Rockbottum CC, we have been hopelessly addicted to opiates of the endorphin variety for decades. * See the Rockbottum Blog post "Exercise, Brain Function and Depression" column and attached films dated August of 2019 for actual science talk. Endorphins, generated by the brain, are the safest, most effective mood enhancement drugs available, although there are certain corporations that would prefer you did not know that.  In the past, these companies were successful at suppressing the use
Boots & Ruck Films

Flappin' & Honkin'

In our constant search for inner peace on the golf course, we offer this film from our Boots & Ruck division, entitled:  "Flappin' & Honkin' ". Normally, our stories from the military days are off-limits, but there was just no other way to impart this particular piece of wisdom without data-mining the trauma zone in my skull.   So lace up your boots, shoulder your rucksack and come along for some campfire coffee, philosophy . . . and a tiny little woodstove. No instant cof
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Boots & Ruck Films

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Rockbottum Philosophy

The Positive/Negative GCS Ratio

The owner of Rockbottum CC, Ludella Hogwaller, AKA "Momma",  is always stressing the importance of a positive attitude, a positive work environment and presenting the golfer with a positive golf course.  She even has algae-rhythm formulas to determine if the staff is positive or negative. Momma says two negatives can make a positive.  She proved this by changing Ben, our mean and surly golf course dog, from a negative ratio into a positive.  Momma had Ben's two negatives removed and he beca
Rockbottum Philosophy

Campfire Coffee and American Cupcakes

In this short film, RW explains how not to make an American cupcake and offers up a recitation from Old Uncle Lladnar.   As weakness continues to spread across the land,  we hold to our position of strength, remaining firmly grounded in our Rockbottum Philosophy, "Read a book, not a screen." If you don't have an actual book at hand, we suggest visiting Rockbottumfilms at the link to the right.  Our current best seller is  "Lost Hound of Raven Gap" an adventure set in the mountains of N
Storytime

The Four Horses' Posteriors

It's Storytime.  Once upon a time, long ago, a country club way out in the boonies--where Dad was the Pro/Supt/GM--held a combined Halloween golf tournament/debutante ball and squirrel cookout.  As Dad was usually reluctant to attend such glitzy affairs, I was instructed to represent him.  Since I wasn't old enough to drive yet, Dad left me behind to close up the pro shop and the maintenance barn--it was an actual barn--plug in the carts, clean the pool and keep an eye on things.  His exact inst
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Storytime

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Skeletal Golf Theory

Rockbottum Radio: Skeletal Secrets for Great Greens... and other Turf Blasphemy

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW finally reveals all of his Skeletal Golf secrets for great greens (Bent or UD) along with the backstory explaining why they were kept secret. The Mad Golf Prophet offers up his Last Prediction ever and confesses how he knew this supply line dislocation was coming. Finally, a Halloween tale for Storytime that is too spooky, even for Rockbottum. (This podcast has been archived. Please contact us if you'd like to listen to it and we'll restore
Storytime

Buddy's Mask Experiment

In this time of turmoil and division, we offer something to bring us together:  Rockbottum Storytime. Thirty years ago, Buddy began to wonder which mask was more effective.  Was it the common dust mask?  The surgical mask?  Or perhaps the trusty bandanna?  It had nothing to do with spraying or virus prevention or looking cool, it was entirely due to Buddy's office trouble.  Located next to the crew restroom, Buddy's office was plagued with sudden waves of a malodorous stench capable of pene
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Storytime

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Podcast

Rockbottum Radio: Are You Ready for a Change?

In this episode, RW and the gang deliver an emergency warning about an Army Worm invasion, reveal our progress in golf course robot evaluations, discuss the big change coming in golf and explain why those folks at The Masters need a wall. In "Storytime" we tell about our favorite time on the golf course. Presented by DryJect. (This podcast has been archived. Please contact us if you'd like to listen to it and we'll restore it.)
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Podcast

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Skeletal Golf Theory

Invasive Species

In this cerebral film on Skeletal Golf Theory, Dave Wilson reveals a new way to recruit the next wave of golfers, while other Rockbottum CC inmates pile on with their wisdoms, tips and helpful hints. Momma demonstrates her highly efficient, low cost, environmentally friendly method for dealing with Invasive Species.  
Podcast

Rockbottum Radio: A Failure of Leadership...

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW reveals an important secret to leadership success, while Jelsik gets a rough mower stuck in the lake and Boof loses his radio. Cletus is forced to put those nasty water jugs back out, Ludell makes his illegal mushroom burgers again and the beer cart driver quits. Momma inspects the bunkhouse and the winner of The Turpentine Corncob is announced.  Just a normal day at Rockbottum CC. Presented by DryJect.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Podcast

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Buddy and Randy Retire From Golf

On this episode of Rockbottum CC, (the longest running webisode on the whole dang internet) a mysterious leak at Jelsik Muldoon's GMO lab results in retirement fever sweeping over Rockbottum.  Roy Dell takes advantage of the crisis by attempting to gain control of the club while Willy prepares to hand over the reins of power to Bodell and Jimmy Dell, who have encountered the secretive head of an evil organization known as Turftruth or TurfPoof--hard to determine because they exist only on t
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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When The Police Show Up . . .

1969, Southwest of Fresno:  It was nearing midnight on a chilly Friday in October, when an old school bus rattled into the driveway of the Polvadero Country Club, a nine holer out in the middle of the nowhere known as Kettleman Hills.  The bus was loaded with high school football players being delivered home after an away game in Kerman.  Fernando the driver was skillfully circling the empty clubhouse parking lot when his headlights swept across a woman standing alone, holding a shotgun at port
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Podcast

Rockbottum Radio: "A Fool's Name is Like His Face . . ."

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW discusses working for corporations and the increasing complexities of lengthy supply line disruptions in modern times.   Ludell returns from the future to explain how Gen Z solved the problem of professional politicians... and reveals what golf can expect from corporate water tech. In Storytime, RW tells the tale of his first encounter with corporate indentured servitude:  Woolworth's. Presented by DryJect. (This podcast has been archiv
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Podcast

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Adjust Your Brain . . . Naturally

Are your stress levels cranked up to "Berserker" and beyond?  Is your brain simmering in stress soup courtesy of too much input?  If so, take a few moments to learn The Rockbottum CC Method* for Adjusting Your Brain Chemistry Naturally--and become a happy and relaxed human for several hours.  *NOTE:  Does not require beating a golf vandal senseless, although . . .   
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Close Encounters of the Golf Kind

According to Ludell's contacts in the intelligence community, June of 2021 will see a huge release of UFO film, video, and documents formerly classified beyond Top Secret. (They will, however, continue to suppress the mysterious connection between golf and Alien Space Ships.) If you can handle the truth, watch this explosive film from RBCC, the longest running webisode on the whole dang internet.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Careful With That Impulse

Rockbottum CC proudly presents another brilliant analytical film study on the processes involved in making a sustainable golf career decision.   
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

The Crew Restroom Dilemma

Has your crew been ill-tempered lately?  Kind of . . . on the edge, showing signs of unrest?  Have you heard them muttering phrases like, "Took my stapler" or "Aye, Captain Bligh" while they work dark to dark? Could be you're working them like a rented mule, while you and the assistants attend tea parties at the clubhouse, Downton Abbey style.  Maybe the pay is too low, especially if somebody's lazy brother-in-law is sitting home making more on unemployment, running up high scores on Call o
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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It Ain't The X's and O's

There's an old saying in football coaching:  "It ain't the X's and the O's, it's the Jimmies and the Joes."  The winless coach considers this to be profound wisdom, while the winning coach will stress the quality of leadership as the most important factor in a team's success.  While coaching high school football, after my GCS career was over, I learned that the X's and O's rule was really more of a 50/50 formula.  Even a great coach can't win if the team is a bunch of cupcakes  . . . but it work
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Extreme Golfer Personality Disorders

The following online film course, "Extreme Golfer Personality Disorders"  is an uncomfortable, brutal look at what lies in wait for the turf school graduate, and as such, should probably be viewed by veteran golf course superintendents only.  If you complete the course, you will not only accumulate 15 CEUs for Mystic Order of Greenkeeper certification, but will join the ranks of famous superintendents like Brian Nettz, Anthony Williams, Fred Gehrisch and Mark Hoban.  (Mark had to take the t
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

5

Got Nematodes? Let's Whack 'Em!

In this film from Rockbottum CC, nematode specialist Derek Settle reveals new 'Tode Warfare secrets. To give you some idea of how dedicated this guy is, the only time we could catch up with him was Christmas morning.  Instead of opening presents around the digital fire, Derek was out in the freezing cold, helping the TurfNet Village prepare for nematode season.  (We have enough microscopic trouble to deal with already, we don't need more, especially in our greens.) Also in this episode
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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Podcast

Randy Wilson: Rockbottum Radio, Christmas 2020

In this Christmas 2020 episode of Rockbottum Radio, RW and the gang go in depth on several of their ideas for dealing with the golf surge, from the good to the bad to the ugly. Momma develops her best ever method for dealing with golfer complaints and then for Storytime, RW tells about the mysterious Coach Zontek (not the one you might think...). Happy Holidays from Rockbottum Country Club, and here's to a MUCH better 2021! (This podcast has been archived. Please contact us if you
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson in Podcast

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Lockdown? What Lockdown?

From our "Boots & Ruck" film division, we offer this short film on the dangers associated with lockdowns and too much togetherness.     Note:  This film has been fact checked by our internal experts, so don't bother offering any differing opinions.    
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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