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About this blog

Randy and the gang at Rockbottum Country Club pontificate on Rockbottum wisdom and skeletal golf, among other madness.

Entries in this blog

Zombie Greens

A short film about Zombie greens and the unintended consequences of one dimensional golf . . .  also contains proof that Rod Serling took over my brain when I was seven years old.   
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Golf Isn't The Only Turf

Golf isn't the only place turf is king.  There are massive sod farms, residential turf, municipal grounds, airfields and sports turf.  There's all that National Park Service turf in our nation's capital that Mike Stachowicz maintains.  Joe Fearn--who writes a very good column for TurfNet--is the turf and grounds czar at Drury University. In the complex modern turf industry, knowledge, multiple skills and specialized training are pretty much mandatory.  While none of these turf disciplines c
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Rockbottum Radio: Rockbottum Common Sense and other good stuff...

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, Randy explores Skeletal Golf Theory (SGT) and why it's important (think "Contingency Plan"). Also, Rockbottum gets a corporate makeover, the truth about collecting and weighing clippings, and that "new" spray out there. Finally, a consultant story, the winner of the Turpentine Corncob Award, and in Storytime, a tale from the days when golf courses were closed on Mondays. Be sure to check out this jam-packed podcast and catch up with all the lat
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Cosmic Payback or Fudgie Will Get You

What follows is a classic tale of Cosmic Payback, visited upon the truly deserving.  Because my readers are highly educated, I am using the term, Cosmic Payback.  If I was writing for golfers, I would use the easier to understand, "Fudgie will get you." Our story begins with a golfer who was mysteriously inflicted with a demonic obsession to bedevil Winston, a Golf Course Superintendent. Winston is one of the great ones, a hard working, drive-on kind of fellow achieving legendary statu
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Fawlty Meadows Golf Centre

For those too elegant, sophisticated and erudite for Rockbottum CC, we offer "Fawlty Meadows Golf Centre". Starring Basil and Manuel  Randy and Buddy.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Decomplexification: A Skeletal Golf Theory Film

It's growing season and everyone has the throttle rammed to the wall.  This is usually when we produce short goofy films with subliminal messages . . . because there is little time for jocularity. But, as of now, time is critical.  This film, "Decomplexification" is too important to hold until the first hard freeze.  *WARNING!  This film contains CLASSIFIED golf operations material.  Do NOT allow members, clubhouse personnel or architecture forum posters access to this film.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

8

Larry Nelson won the '87 PGA because of... me

It's Storytime.   My personal record for running off golf pros is 13, if you count my getting Dad fired twice.  The first time was an accident, but the second time was more Dad's fault.  He should have run a background check on me.  I hit a real winning streak in my forties, with seven pros abdicating their crown during a ten year period. The one pro I wanted to stay, however, was Larry Nelson and I think he left because of me.  (Actually, Larry was a Pro Golfer, not a golf pro.)  I ha
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

3

Rockbottum Analytica... and a recon to that new pinball golf place

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, live from somewhere in the TurfNet Zone, the Gang makes a field trip to one of those newfangled bowling alley honky-tonk disco pinball golf places, while attempting to answer the question of how much PGR is required to shrink a green chairman's ego. After a lesson in General George S. Patton tactics, and an interruption from the seniors group playing 2-Man Worst Ball, and before announcing the winner of the Turpentine Corncob Award, the topic of how wres
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Going Muni? Best Gird Thy Loins

I don't know what "Gird Thy Loins" actually means, but I think I read it in an ancient text, the context being "Don your metal jockstrap, lest ye be kicked in the sensitives". It takes a hard individual to work Municipal Golf, (MG) but with sufficient preparation, it can be fun.  I suggest: Gird Thy Loins.  (Steel cup, fire retardant kevlar underwear, etc.) Seek counsel from someone currently in Muni Golf. I spent 15 years working MG and it was great, except for the lo
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

4

Finding The Minimum Wage Crew

Inspired by the recent cacaphonius outcry on the TurfNet Forum regarding the sparsissity of workforce, we have endeavored to reveal where to find the minimum wage crew.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Rockbottum Radio: The Milleminal Golfer Study... and more

The Rockbottum Gang goes for ice cream while their Milleminial Golfer Study is revealed. After finding out how to prevent Old Man Smell, listen in on the first ever Rockbottum Board Meeting There's a big accident out on the course... and then in Storytime, Ludell catches RW on tape under the effects of Truth Serum. Presented by VinylGuard Golf.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Lightning! Lightning! Lightning!

The Mad Golf Prophet (MGP) has just issued a Lightning Warning for the upcoming golf season.  *Note:  This is not a "Lightening" warning, the spelling preferred by heavy internet users, because that would indicate weight reduction or a severe increase in pasty, pale skin . . . like when you go to one of those fashion catwalk things. There is no science to trust behind this prediction, it simply came from a vision the MGP had last night, complete with the whole waking up screaming, running t
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

Alert! Golf Course Dogs Are At Risk

The vast Rockbottum CC intel surveillance net has picked up increased anti-golf dog chatter while monitoring golf course board meetings. An informant over at Prissy Drawers Country Club told us that during a recent visit to Rockbottum CC, their Green Chairman, Delbert Spores, had an uncomfortable experience with Chopper, our golf course dog. Delbert said Chopper and friends were appallingly insensitive in their ridicule of his post round Prancersize workout. To learn more, study t
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

Top 4 Tips For A Happy Future Golf Career

Here are four bits of intel that you need to know, in order to stay happy and safe during the ongoing transition into the rapidly approaching Techno-Golf Industry of the future.          https://www.rockbottumfilms.com/
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

7

Rockbottum Radio: Real News from Rockbottum

In this Rockbottum Radio audiocast, the gang in the Rockbottum pro shop discuss Bad Member Discipline (especially Norbert Tuchus)... UFOs beaming up night watermen... Global Cooling... Global Warming... Golf Business Projections and... Storytime. Plus, Ludell gives us his online dating secrets (no, not FarmersOnly.com), starting with dead malls and ice cream truck jingles. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/turfnet/2018/01/17/randy-wilson-real-news-from-rockbottum Presented by VinylGuar
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

What The Great Atlanta Ice Storm of '73 Taught Me About Golf

It was 45 years ago today that we entered the biggest and baddest of Atlanta's winter storms, The Great Ice Storm of '73.  With little warning, icy rain fell for hours and then froze like clear steel on Atlanta's trees, roads and power lines.  Big pines began to crash down on houses, splintering utility poles and blocking roads.  Transformers exploded like incoming artillery and lit up the Atlanta night with freakish blue arcs of hot light.  Everything went dark.  Black ice covered sidewalks, st
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

Christmas at Rockbottum...

In this podcast on Rockbottum Radio, I provide some Christmas Tips from Rockbottum, including: dealing with kids at Christmas speeding up play (hint: "Fill 'em, sod 'em, mow 'em") making golf affordable and fun doing something with the "r" word PLUS: Skeletal Golf Predictions and Projections! Lastly, I wind it up with a golf course Christmas story in Storytime. Presented by our friends at VinylGuard Golf.  
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

0

Ludell's Three Things You Need To Know

*Note:  This week's guest columnist is Ludell Hogwaller. There are three things "they" are hiding from you, so I guess it's up to us Ludditians to fire a warning flare, since half our day isn't consumed with all that social media mutual admiration society fawning and gushing and smoke blowing. First, there are dark rumors going around about veteran superintendents supposedly being terminated for making mistakes like having the audacity to disagree with the new wave of "M" board members
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

The Leading Killer of Golf

In this week's Skeletal Golf Theory, we focus our cameras on The Leading Killer of Golf. SGT is part of Rockbottum Country Club, Deep in The TurfNet Zone, where you'll find straight up, non-cupcake golf course operations analysis, on golf's longest running webisode.
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

2

A (serious) chat with Mark Hoban: What's he into now?

In this episode of Rockbottum Radio, I have a serious chat with envelope-pusher Mark Hoban, superintendent at Rivermont Golf Club in John's Creek, GA. One of the true "mad scientists" of the golf course maintenance world, Mark is constantly applying his holistic view of soil/plant management to new endeavors on the golf course. And he always keeps one eye on reducing inputs and subsequent c Mark fills us in on his current delvings into biochar, compost extracts (as opposed to compost tea...
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

3

Never Say Dye

For our annual Halloween tale of horror, we present "Never Say Dye". Long ago, in primitive golfland, I stupidly stepped into the shoes of a superintendent who escaped resigned from a haunted economically stressed golf course and subsequently ran off accepted another offer. Before he left, he told a horrifying story of being tricked into attempting a resurrection of a zombie country club; the terror began the moment he stepped foot on the course.  It was built on floodplain, the bent g
Randy Wilson

Randy Wilson

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